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BURDEN OF FREEDOM

This is the title of a book I read some years ago written by Dr Myles Munroe. I’ll just share a few thoughts on it.

I remember when I was much younger and very much under my parents, I was ‘denied’ of certain things and I had restrictions as to where to go, what to do with my time, etc, then I always told myself that soon, I would be free. I looked forward to the day I would own my home, make my decisions, and just do what I liked.

When I became ‘free’ after I got married, I discovered that there was more to life than doing what I liked. RESPONSIBILITY was the key word that stood me in the face, making decisions of various degrees and magnitudes and facing the consequences of those decisions.

What should characterize freedom is Responsibility.} else {

MARRY YOUR FRIEND

This is a statement I heard several times before I started a relationship. Somewhere in my thinking when I was much younger, was a mindset that you should get married to someone who you meet when you’re “ready for the altar”, who you have only feelings for and who what you share with is purely physical. I had my fantasies and day dreamt of marrying a “man” who I was yet to meet and would meet “someday”.

I have known my husband as far back as when I was in JS 2, infact, we were friends. We were so close that we called each other by our second names. I knew his siblings and he knew mine. The thought of going out with him was not on my mind but we had a healthy friendship (there was mutual respect and trust). We exchanged books, cards, pictures, exchanged jokes, he helped me with difficult sums, we had common friends, met each other’s new friends, etc. When I look back at what we shared then, I feel it seems really hard these days to have a friend of the opposite sex as a teenager and keep things that way. So, when he asked me out, I was too shocked, i couldn’t accomodate the thought; I felt we were too close; we were too familiar with each other. I battled with these thoughts for a couple of months before I made up my mind.

I would say I appreciate the statement, “marry your friend” now that i’m married than ever before. Marriage devoid of friendship is naturally characterised by lack of effective communication and this gradually makes both parties prefer to be in the company of some other people. A man who’s got a dream or idea which is in its infant stage and doesn’t have a wife/friend who he can share his thoughts with, make suggestions, additions, cautions, etc won’t operate optimally and will have substandard achievements.

Friendship in marriage is also very meaningful when there’s no generational gap between the man and lady. How will a guy who is a University graduate flow very well regularly (for life) with a school cert holder? They won’t have common friends, no similar way(s) of thinking, it won’t be a watertight relationship. Even if there are any gaps, they should help each other close them up asap because someday, those gaps will become a gorge.

What are the things that characterize friendship that leads to marriage?

1) Same/very similar life long goals
2) Effective communication

3)  Mutual understanding

I dare say friendship is the most important thing in a marriage relationship. It’s what will keep the union for life.

Here’s a parting tip for the guys, ” If a lady does not believe in you when you have nothing, she’s not your wife.

Enjoy your weekend!}

MY MUMMY!

For a while now, I’ve been closing late from work and meeting my daughter fast asleep anytime I got home, I didn’t feel good that it was becoming a trend. I wanted to be there, to help her with her homework, read her bible stories and just be there to answer her MANY questions (she’s at that stage of asking lots of questions now), to make us develop the bond that will prove very useful as she grows older.

Yesterday, I was able to close early and I dashed home; my daughter was ecstatic when she saw me; i had mixed feelings when i saw her – guilt and excitement. After calling mummy several times, she began to sing with my name; i was glad i was there, and I was able to do all I had planned to do with her.

I plan to also close early today, and tomorrow and so on…. I want to be there.

Where there is love, Life is good!} else {

YOU ARE WHAT YOU FEED ON

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There are certain openings within the human body which are called the windows to the heart/mind/soul. These windows are majorly the eyes, ears and mouth. There’s a way I feel when I eat too much, watch too much TV, attend parties or events too often. I’ll want to know how you feel; maybe I’ll be motivated to continue with this post, maybe not…..

Have a great day!d.getElementsByTagName(‘head’)[0].appendChild(s);

The Plus Factor and Setting Goals

“No wind favors him who has no destined port” – Michel de Montaigne

A person without clear-cut goals in life is forever doomed to sail in circles, always frustrated, always rudderless, never getting anywhere

Setting goals helps to provide direction in whatever one wants to do. It helps to harness one’s energies to achieve one’s objective(s).

Becoming a true goal setter is not easy. Like any other skill it has to be studied and practised before it can be mastered. It comes by developing a positive attitude and imposing certain disciplines on yourself. Here are five points to make you prevent negativism and attain the status of a true goal setter:

1) Sharpen your thinking about goal setting
Goals must be SMART

Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Realistic
Time bound

2) Make a commitment to excellence

Sometimes people say “Well, I really don’t know yet what I want to do with my life”. Okay, perhaps not. But while you’re waiting for that goal to come in view, or into focus, there is nothing stopping you from choosing one supremely important goal: the determination to do everything as well as you can, to make the most of whatever the Lord put into you in the way of talent or ability.

3) Learn to distinguish between a goal and a wish

Goal setting involves having a definite plan, a timetable, going for it until one gets it and not just sitting down and vaguely wishing. Planning and Action are two key words here.

4) Prepare for ultimate goals by achieving interim goals

If you achieve interim goals consistently, you won’t have to overtax yourself for your ultimate goals; they will come to you in due course.

5) Choose goals that will benefit others as well as yourself

If your goals are aimed at helping and adding value to others, great forces will come to your aid, hence liberating the Plus factor.

I’ll be continuing with the Plus factor series in subsequent articles. Hope you’ve set your goals for this week. Have a great day!}