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What you’re looking for is contained in what dominates your thoughts, words and actions” – Tope Akinyemi

In recent times, i have met with and spoken with a few people, males and females alike and i discovered one thing that seems to be getting more rampant by the day; many people don’t know what they want in life. They lack a picture of their desired future, and this reflects in the quality of their daily decisions.

What business does a person who says he wants to own his own business and retire young have with sitting at home and complaining about the economy, instead of investing time in building the skill set, knowledge and network needed to do well in business? He must be looking for a joke. A person who spends hours, days and months investing in developing a skill is looking for something.

Every guy wants a good home; a homely, no nagging wife and lovely children, but some guys go ahead and have relationships with ladies who even within the course of the relationship exhibit none of these attributes. I’ve noticed a number of guys who go for ladies who are clearly more independent and more exposed than them, hence they’re constantly under pressure to match up and overtake; maybe this is good for some, especially men who are laid back; but everyone needs to know what he/she needs in life.

Many ladies are very materialistic and demanding, so materialistic that it could be irritating and some guys who don’t have the financial muscle to handle such still go ahead to have a relationship with such girls to prove a point; what point? that you’re man enough? is it not obvious? What are such men looking for? rest of mind in marriage? i doubt it. A lady who is in a relationship and who has marriage in mind with a guy who regularly beats her up must lack a picture of her future. She doesn’t want a “good” guy because he’s not romantic but this other guy is so romantic, takes her out, buys her things even though he beats her once in a while. Does such lady see the big picture?

What you’re looking for is in you, and when you express it, you send a message to people around you. We get what we deserve in life, either by our action or the lack of it. Can you eat your cake and have it? A lady who dresses “baring it all, or leaving some to the imagination of guys is looking for something, either consciously or unconsciously. Someone says who we associate with is a reflection of who we are and what we want from life, either presently or in the near future. A person who constantly surrounds himself with people who exert negative influence on him is headed somewhere which has been made obvious by his choice of friends.

A person who rubs palm oil on his body and sits close to an open fire is surely looking for something, na wahala. I think we all need to sit down, ask questions and determine what we want in life, and most of all, allow it to show by the things that dominate our thoughts, words and actions.}

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