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LOVE (Ladies only pls….)

LOVE (Ladies only pls….)


Yesterday, i attended a bridal shower and it was a lot of fun. It was a girls day out and the “brides to be” were fired with questions from all fronts. There were some statements that were made that i responded briefly to. Today, i’ll be writing on one of the points discussed, for the benefit of my readers.

I asked them a question, what is love in the context of a marriage relationship? I got different answers such as “Love is a feeling” to “Love is Committment” to “Love is a decision”. Considering the fact that marriage is for life, i wonder how you would expect to base it on feelings. It won’t work that way. In that case, what you experience is times of falling in and out of love; that is really dangerous and is not sustainable.

Love is a choice you make, a decision, to be committed to someone unconditionally. God chose to love us even when we disobeyed him flagrantly. If there is no constant renewal of your decision within you to love your spouse inspite of his failings, then a marriage is only a break-up away. Love is seeing your union with your spouse as a plus factor that will bring out the best in him/her.

True love grows. It’s not fleeting; it doesn’t fluctuate. It grows in communication and better understanding. It grows when each party seeks to making the other happy.

What is usually called Romance – Dinner out, seeing the movies, boat cruising, etc are spices of the core. They could be mere activities for feeling good if the core is not intact. So, why not eat your cake and have it? Have the right perspective about love so you can love and be loved.

Have you “fallen in love” many times with different people that you wonder if love exists? Have you gotten into trouble with your emotions/feelings many times? Do you think you find it hard to get a grip on yourself? Apply checks, talk to someone, preferably an older lady who you respect, and who models the lifestyle she advocates for.

I’ll be willing to listen to, and help you if you need someone to talk to. Contact me via email on

Have a lovely week!}

2 Responses to “LOVE (Ladies only pls….)”

  1. fola says:

    i strongly believe what you said but pls can you please expanciate what you mean by love does not flunctuate, thanks.

  2. Tope says:

    @Fola, true love is beyond feelings; it’s a decision, a choice, to stay committed and faithful to your spouse “till death do you part”. Feelings must fluctuate, but love is deep, it grows when cultivated; when you decide to make things work. Please read my article titled “Before you say i do”, the vows give a picture of what the decision to love entails.

    Thanks for dropping by and keep coming; you keep me writing!

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