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This week has been very demanding and thankfully, productive. The week was almost ending and i discovered i had not written a single post, so i decided against all odds to do so. I’ll make this a very brief one.

About two days ago, i was speaking with a guy who had been in a relationship for a few years with a lady and he was telling me that a date had been fixed for the wedding. I replied that it was high time they got married since they had been at it for a while. He said “yes o, i need to be taken care of, abeg.” I smiled and made a mental note of the statement and decided to write something about it.

I began to wonder at the guy’s perspective. I think ladies also get married thinking that they need to be taken care of as well, abi? So what happens when both parties get married with the same mindset? Issues will arise for sure! Of course, if both parties are open to change, the issues won’t last for long.

This article will be a very short one. I’m not faulting the statement made by the guy i wrote about earlier; I just have one or two questions; is it alright for a person to have a bad habit, refuse to work on it, believing that the spouse will do the magic? Is it healthy to be absolutely dependent on your spouse for something and be helpless whenever he/she is not around?

I’ll simply say that anyone going into marriage should do so with the intention to give; and not with the fairy tale mindset that the spouse is complete and without shortcomings, and so can meet all one’s emotional wants and needs at every time. A relationship is more fulfilling and enjoyable when both parties know that they need to give.

Have a fantastic weekend!}

8 Responses to “I NEED….”

  1. JesusFreak says:

    I NEED TO GIVE MYSELF for my relationship to work out fine…Thanks for this post..

  2. Royal_Prince says:

    Hi! I think it is a 2-way thing. There are scenarios where it is the woman who takes care of the guy and vice versa. Their ability to understand such scenarios makes for a healthy union. I have been faced with scenerios where I would just wisper to myself “this is why i need a wife” or stuffs like that. lol

  3. Niyioski says:

    hmmmmmmmmmm……good basic stuff, yet eludes many.thanks for this short but solid post……..and that reminds me, many also go into a relationship with God only thinking about what God can and will give them, not so wrong but one needs to out-grow such thinking asap, cos a responsible child of the home begins to think of what he can give to the home as against what he can take, maturity is what it is called.

  4. Tolu Akinsanmi says:

    very true oo….digressing a little….. this brings a statement that I have heard over and over to mind… ” on the wedding day,the bride is thinking of all the ways she can change the groom, and he is thinking of all the ways he can keep the bride exactly as she is.” Is there any truth to this statement at all?? What do you think lol…….

  5. FT says:

    I agree with you that ‘ anyone going into marriage should do so with the intention to give’
    If we say we love, we should give…after all ‘for God so loved the world that he gave!’

    Even though I think its fair for both parties to have expectations from the other person in marriage, but it should not be a attitude of waiting for the other person to ‘give’ and gratify us.

    Giving, being selfless, preferring the other person to ourselves are some of the many things the bible exhorts us to bear in mind when relating with others.

    On my side, I must confess, that I get very uneasy when I hear a man listing his “I NEED’ lists with respect to getting a wife, I always feel in my mind; this man will be so demanding, selfish and exhausting!

  6. Topsie says:

    @All: Thanks all, for your comments.

    Nobody likes to feel used, even God doesn’t like you to serve him for what you want…..Let’s adjust our attitudes to not only marriage, but all our relationships.

  7. Bussee says:

    @Tolu…………lol, nice one, i’ll remember to use it some time.

    I really don’t think about what i need as much as i think about what i can give but i sure know WHAT I DON’T

  8. damilare says:

    nice one ma…, got to act nw!

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