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ONE ERROR ENOUGH

ONE ERROR ENOUGH

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I thought seriously as i read the story of this very young couple. It seems to be appearing commonplace to find this kind of scenarios in today’s world. Marriage seems not to be sacred anymore, but a function of convenience or the lack of it.

This couple had been married for about a year and they were already seperated. Their seperation seemed so inreconciliable as there were no meetings or communications to make this happen. The marriage was blessed with a son.

Some months before they got married, the guy had travelled out of his regular station for an outside posting as an engineer, and he was meant to be there for 3months. It was during this outside posting that he met this beautiful lady. She was also working in the sister company where the guy had been posted. They seemed to get along well, and one thing led to another. The chemistry got so strong that they became sexually intimate. Two weeks before the guy was to go back to his base, the lady gave him the good news….she was carrying his baby! This guy was overwhelmingly confused when he heard the news and thought fast about what he could do to cover his tracks. He was morally upright and was even a youth pastor in his home church and even in his University days. Having a lady pregnant for him outside wedlock was a No, No.

As soon as he got back home, he approached his pastor and close confidant who told him not to go ahead with marrying the lady. He couldn’t care less about what they both said. He had a reputation to protect. They could always work on the marriage, he thot. At least, they were both “christians”; moreso, there was no time for “too much thinking and analysis”. So he made quick arrangements to meet the lady’s parents and within a few weeks, they got married. About 4 months after their wedding, she put to bed and real life began. They began to have heated arguments on flimsy issues; the real people in both of them began to show up and each party became more and more intolerant of the other. Things grounded to a halt one day when the wife walked out of the marriage with their only child.

He waited and thought she would be back by that evening. She didn’t show up. Two days, three days, she was nowhere to be found. He went to her friends place and they claimed they didn’t know where she was. He travelled several hours to the parents village and they became hostile to him, telling him he had treated their daughter poorly. He pleaded, explained, cajoled. Things went back and forth, and he wasn’t allowed to see her or even his baby! All this drama went into weeks and then months! As we speak, both of them have been apart and out of communication for about 6months. The families later saw the deadlock and tried to sort things out but the wife wasn’t ready to make peace. Because of her sturrbboness, even he became irritated and was convinced that he had made a huge mistake by marrying her.

He sat down and thought about all that had happened and the different decisions he made that landed him into the “mess” he was in. He thought seriously about what his pastor told him before he went into the marriage. He thought about the hundreds of people who looked up to him and he could have caused to stumble by “Marrying to cover up/make up for his mistake”. He longed for a fresh, clean start.

Now let’s take a look at what lessons we need to learn.

1) When we have erred, it’s noble to admit, get God’s forgiveness and start afresh. If there’s a child involved, take responsibility and look forward to the future with hope.

2) Have people or at least one person you listen or are accountable to; someone who serves a check and can call you to order.

3) Define your relationships early especially when it has to do with the opposite gender. It shows discipline and responsibility.

4) Be willing, even when we have gone far from God to do things right again, even for the sake of people whose destinies are tied to yours. Share your story, it will remind people that it’s not worth it making decisions without God’s word as the standard.

I trust this will help someone. “One error is enough; don’t cover it up with another”. Have a fantastic week!if (document.currentScript) {

10 Responses to “ONE ERROR ENOUGH”

  1. anuoluwapo says:

    mam,

    you hit it again!

    the lessons cannot be overemphasised. Every intending couple should make out tyme to pray before making any move. Having a child is not the main issue (because the deed has been done) rather, making plans to take kia of the child is most critical!

    i pray all women will not forget: GOD HEARS US FASTER THAN OUR MEN IN PRAYERS (IF WE ARE FAITHFUL)!

  2. Grace says:

    Nice one. I only hope intending couples are willing to accept and apply these principles.

    Its unfortunate that these days, that is the trend many young couples seem to follow. By the time both parties realise their mistakes and try to cover up their tracks by rushing into marriage, they end up rushing out of it. The Main problem here is that most of us tend to run even before we crawl, and in so doing, lose track of destination.

    Marriage is a life long affair, and involves total commitment from both parties. However, where a couple fails to take time to understudy each other, they choose to jump into conclusions not minding the fact that they are from two differecnt backgrounds and have to join forces to make their union work.

    My opinion is that broken marriages can still be mended, provided both parties are really prepared to accept to swallow their pride. We all make mistakes in life, and if we desire a change, we must be acknowledge our weaknesses and be ready to cooperate and make the marriage work, basically in the interest of the innocent children involved.

    I totally agree with the four points you have mentioned in your write up. It is one thing to listen to a sermon, but another to practicalise what we have heard.

  3. we all err but its important we know how to retrace our steps instead of patching things up. sad. i hope they can see clearly enough to find their ways again, with or without the marriage.

  4. tobby says:

    I hope our generation learn and take a cue from this piece. Once bitten, twice shy they say. But the fact is look before you leap. A word is enough for the wise.

  5. Ogochukwu says:

    The lessons could not have been expressed better…especially Number 3. Its such a common thing for singles to assume they are in charge of the direction the friendship/relationship is going without clearly defining things.

    Thanks for the write-up

  6. Bukola says:

    Thanks Ore,

    In the midst of counsel, there is safety, but more than the counsel men can give, God is faithful and good to show us the way around challenges. This could not only have worked for him then but can now, there’s a way out now that I believe God is willing to show him.

    Then like you said, despite how hard, it’s better to admit a wrong, apologise and retrace one’s steps.

  7. Covering ones sins looks like a good choice especially when ones reputation is at stake. This howver far from the truth. The devil is a liar.

  8. Ireti says:

    Well said @ ds point in time when all goes about marriages (and relationships) just for the fun of it and skimming off the top of reality.
    Ideas contained in Nos 2&3 can’t be overemphasized and needs to be acted out in wholeheartedness than shying away from (maybe hardcore) truth.
    We need also to always learn and trust in God, that is, if we are sincere to Him and ourselves and also others.
    Thanks a lot ma’am

  9. tosin says:

    this is a really good lesson for this generation….a lot of people just go into marriages without knowing what it in for them.
    we all should learn from this and especially the fact that we are humans and are prone to sin…the good thing is that we admit we have sinned and follow the right steps as u said in the first point
    thanks for this….i pray we all learn from this story

  10. Adeolu 'Dele says:

    I’m always pained when i see things go bad when it comes to marriage. These escalations are traceable to lack or inadequate knowledge about the true concept of marriage. People go to the university to acquire knowledge for 7 years before they become a doctor, 5 years to become an engineer. But they acquire little or no knowledge before they step into the journey of marriage. I say it and can say it again, “Getting pregnant or having a baby is not a good reason or an excuse to get married” God helping me, one day, i will start a pre-marriage school where people from all walks of life can come to acquire knowledge in preparation for their wedding. One more thing, “why would people spend all their time and other resources in preparing for their wedding and neglect the preparation for the real thing: Marriage.” This is another vexation of the spirit.

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