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Time Changes People

Time Changes People

How often have you heard the saying, “Time Changes people?” I decided to take a good look at that saying and concluded that it’s not absolutely true. It’s the experiences that a person has over time that changes them. Some people get bolder and more courageous based on experiences they’ve had that made them feel as if they were taken advantage of; and some people get more “subdued” and more careful based on experiences they’ve had in which what they said perpetually put them into trouble. Some people however, learn to speak with more caution and tact.

I remember when i was much younger; especially in my early teenage years, I and my mum hardly agreed about our perspectives towards many things. We had perpetual issues and it took me a long time to discover why; am sure it took her a long while too. Our temperaments are veeeery different, like north and south pole 🙂 In fact, it was as if she spoke purposely to hurt me. I was so quiet and withdrawn and she was always irritated by the fact that i kept so much to myself. I on the other hand, felt “disturbed” that she went on and on about my not talking and so on. Slowly, she began to understand that my temperament was very much like her husband’s who she had grown used to for almost 2 decades then. Why do i say that? She began to give excuses for me as per my actions or the lack of it. Then, i began to see her in another light; along the line, i came across materials which made me see and appreciate our differences. It was a “long” period of discovery but we’re both better for it today. Infact, we’re very close now.

Along the line, she had a relationship with God which has grown over the years and this has also helped her develop a spirit controlled temperament. She’s got few but Godly, value driven and principled  friends. Today, i look back at my mum and appreciate the fact that her relationships, several experiences she’s had, at home, work, business, with in-laws, siblings and so on have shaped her into the person she is today, very much experienced and a woman of much fewer words that are full of wisdom.

We’re all work in progress, and need to appreciate every phase we’re in as contributing to a better us. The delays, the pressures, the frustrations, the anxieties, all constitute the fire that makes us set into being the final artwork, which God intends to be a masterpiece, His masterpiece.

So, there are 2 key things we must not lose sight of, always:

1) A healthy relationship with God: This is the only dependable, infallible option which shapes us inside out, inspite of our experiences.

2) Healthy, Godly relationships and friendships; these determine the quality of counsel we’ll get when in need, and therefore the quality of decisions and actions we take.

Therefore; time is a function of who we’re rolling with which affect our experiences and ultimately, our story. It’s so funny that our “story” is a combination of how we spend each day. I was gisting with a friend recently who told me that if he had worked and stayed around the people who he grew up with (that would’ve been his direction, by default); he was almost very sure that his life, by now, would have been messed up. Time changes people, yes, but what’s happening during that time?if (document.currentScript) {

7 Responses to “Time Changes People”

  1. Ade says:

    Sister Tope, nice write-up. Please advise on this issue but please bear with me as it seems to digress from your post. I know infidelity is the only grounds for divorce in marriage, but I have just heard that a prominent man of God here in the US has been divorced by his wife. Is adultery the only thing that can cause problem in a marriage. This couple have been married for 30 years. But adultery is not their reason for the divorce. This is a man of God I look up to so much. Please shed some light on this. I am very broken-hearted by the news. Thanks sis.

  2. Ade says:

    Why is it that some people start well and end on a horrible note. Why do these things happen to christians? Imagine loving a woman so much only for her to leave you after 30 years. Afi Ki Olorun saanu wa.

  3. kikky says:

    o yes…time and experience surely changes people.

  4. Femme Lounge says:

    wow! i haven’t been a here in a while. i like the new look!
    good one, people will change over time if they make a conscious effort to work it out.

    i always like your references to temperament, it is one essential thing that we need to understand well for successful relationships.

  5. K Etti says:

    I am surprise dat u are such a good counsel, but in class u keep to ur special friend. i use to think u u are prejudice about temperament (my observation then), -well time changes people (perception, etc)-. Thanks for your contribution existence.

  6. K Etti says:

    Thanks for your contribution to existence.

  7. James Asu says:

    Nice piece.It’s what we do with time that really counts and the experience we pass through is what makes us a better person if we are able to learn great lesson from them.thanks for this pearls of inestimable value.

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