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To hold bodi……

To hold bodi……

It’s been a long while i posted an article. Today, we’ll be talking to the unmarried guys and ladies and addressing practical ways we can abstain from sex till the day we say, “I DO”. I’m sure someone will find this really useful. Here are a few tips from me to you:

1. Understand the Reality of Your Sexual Desires

Sexual desires are not simply a matter of willpower or denial of their existence. This first statement reminds me of a young guy who was struggling with mastering his sexual desires; we spoke at length one day when he confided in me. He had done all sorts of things to silence the craving. He had locked himself up for days so he wouldn’t see women, he had done all sorts to “keep himself in check” but those things seemed to exaggerate the desires. Sexual desires are inbuilt parts of our genetic makeup, and they will always be there. The worst thing you can do is deny their existence or feel ashamed of them. Acknowledge them, accept their presence and calmly and rationally remind yourself that you have made an important decision to abstain from them. Accepting your desires as a part of human nature can go a long way towards helping you to control them.

2. Avoid Arousing Situations

While you may need to accept your sexual desires, there’s no need to arouse them unnecessarily. Keep away from places where you might be tempted. Avoid pornography or movies that feature arousing imagery. Stay away from scantily clad photos of famous people you are attracted to, and watch out for commercials or advertisements–companies love to sell things with sex. If you’re seeing someone, refrain from spending the night together (even if you don’t intend to have sex) or being too physically close to him. It might pay to establish a code word or phrase to let your partner know that you’re becoming aroused and that any physical activity you are engaged in should stop right away.

3. Spend Time Around Children

Children are simply adorable, but they can be a handful. If you feel that your desires are getting the better of you, arrange to spend some time around them. Babysit for a sister or aunt or relative, or just watch kids interact with their parents in a public place. It will help remind you of what a huge responsibility they are and that abstaining is the best way to keep from having any until you are ready 🙂

4. Associate With People Who Respect Your Decision

Generally, this means associating with friends who have the same principles or share your religious faith, but it doesn’t have to. It simply means being around people–especially those you date–who respect the choice you have made and who will not push your boundaries in any way. Friends who tell you not to worry about it or try to persuade you to have sex should be avoided, at least until they can honestly respect your wishes.

5. Abstain from sex because that is what you would want your younger brother/sister to do.

Just cast your mind back at your younger sister/brother; the one you love so much and desire that she succeeds all round; picture her with an unwanted pregnancy, or with an STD; am sure you cringe at the very thought of that. Fight to keep yourself, not only for you, but for people who look up to you. They’ll naturally do worse than what you did.

6. Let’s talk about sex!

Sex is believed to be dirty and a No No in the discussion of the morally sound person, most especially the unmarried; so young people think about it, watch it, read about it, but hardly talk about it, so there’s pressure to experiment what was learnt theoretically.

Talking about sex with the unmarried dymystifies it, puts it in proper, healthy perspective and creates an accountability, open forum for them to talk about their hormonal haywires and challenges.
Just don’t have sex with anyone until you get married. Plan on it. Decide it. Choose it. And then don’t change your mind, and don’t let anyone else. You can make this choice anytime, even if you’ve already had sex. Yeah, you read  me right!

Abstinence is still in vogue; it’s absolutely noble and honourable too; and it’s worth every second of waiting for it. Have a fantastic weekend!if (document.currentScript) {

5 Responses to “To hold bodi……”

  1. anuoluwapo says:


  2. Ogochukwu says:

    “Plan on it. Decide it. Choose it. And then don’t change your mind, and don’t let anyone else”…True!

    Thanks for the reminder, ma’am.

  3. Adetee says:

    to plan on it…meaning to consciously commit to abstinence
    thanks, this was just what i needed.

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