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All the single ladies in the house….

All the single ladies in the house….

I started writing this article last week, then lost it; how painful! It’s taking a lot from me to have to put my thoughts together and write again, hoping this will be an opportunity to have a better article. This article is for or about the ladies….again! lol You know my heart goes out to you babes J

It goes without saying that there are almost ten times more than the number of “ready to marry” ladies than men. A guy told the over the weekend about a call that was made in church to pray for “ready but waiting singles”; 52 ladies came out to be prayed for, but there were just 2 guys! He was one of them. And not too long after, the pastor told him that 5 ladies had come to make enquiries about him to be sure that he was really available. This scenario is not strange.

I’ve noticed an interesting trend these days though..ladies who get into relationship early seem to long for the freedom and want to explore more of “life”. It’s an irony of life, the person that has, doesn’t value it much, and the person that doesn’t have, wants it so badly that she’ll cling any slight show of interest by a prospective husband. Take this example, and i’ve seen this play out a few times. A guy and a lady have been in a relationship since University days. By the time they graduate, they’ve already been going out for a little over 3yrs; it’s only logical that once at least one of them stabilizes after NYSC, they can get married; but that’s not the case these days. What we see these days is that ladies want to make a very loud statement….not sure what the statement is though. Ladies want to go for a masters (that will cost a few millions of naira), look for a job for some time, then work for 3-5yrs before they think of marriage. Most people with masters these days don’t even have an edge, so to me, it looks more like a waste of money most times. She told me that “how can i marry, just like that”? My people, what does that mean, pls?

I met a certain lady who’s already working and in a relationship who, when i asked her, said she’ll be getting married in 5yrs! I was shocked! Had to ask her what she was looking for. Meanwhile, she works with a multinational company. Am almost tempted to believe she wants to subtly let the guy know she’s no longer interested in the relationship. They have spent months trying to reach a compromise but she seems adamant on her “career goals”. Don’t get me wrong; am not saying one should not have goals and drive them passionately, am saying women need to know that men are not their competition. We’re different and need to behave as such. There are wiser ways to get what we want without being adamant, else we lose and have regrets.

I also met a lady who had worked for some time and wanted to travel out for her masters and after that, if she gets a job in the UK that she likes, she’ll take it. When i asked her if she and her fiance had discussed it, she said he wants to marry asap, but “he’s on his own” as she has plans and won’t want to be “caged” by marriage. A guy in another relationship told me he wants to settle down early because he doesn’t want to be tempted and distracted but focused and get many things done early. He said the lady simply waved his opinions off….they’ve been having series of discussions on this issue for close to a year!

Am i the only one that meets ladies in a relationship who take things for granted? Am i the only one that thinks that good guys ain’t that many? Am i the only one that thinks that people believe that marriage will take away their entire lives from them? Is that true? Who instituted marriage? If it was God, would he have designed it to the disadvantage of one of the two parties involved? What then was the idea of the power of synergy?

Ladies, what we won’t eat, let’s not sniff. If you won’t go all the way, call it quits when it’s early. A man who’s your husband for real, will give you room for expression, and he’ll also help you fine-tune your plans. If your desires are not outrightly selfish, a good spouse will support it and get involved; and if he’s not, tactically make him see reason and pray. But am definitely not in favour of ladies trying to prove a point head to head with their guys, it has never led to a good end. Don’t create a situation that’s a lose-lose. Why does that guy you believe is for you so badly wants to marry you? Of course, because he loves and sees you as a part of his life.

I’ve met many old single ladies who express regrets at how they wasted certain relationships. A word they say, is enough for the wise. Funny, i met a guy over the weekend who also regretted a relationship he took for granted. Let’s value who and what you have. We might never have it anymore, or never have it that good. Listen to the voice of reason. I wish you joy and fulfillment not only in your career, but maritally; because if you take a good look at it, if you’re having a ball and all is well at home/maritally, no boss or colleague can get at you, and even if they come close, you have waiting arms and listening ears at home to tell you that you’re the best.

Don’t pass over opportunities repeatedly. Don’t be driven by trends or desire to match up with it. You can eat your cake and have it, if you apply wisdom. If you need someone to talk to, am available. Send me a mail, Have a great day!

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4 Responses to “All the single ladies in the house….”

  1. Niyi Oyelade says:

    Excellent and balanced article. This is wisdom. Thanks for resuming writing. You battle with resuming while I battle with starting….levels…lol.

  2. In a relationship, I think it’s all about understanding one another that matters. Some worry about their DREAMS in life to the detriment of their relationship.Understanding and appreciation of one another DREAM/AMBITION will help to value relationships and there will not be delay in settling down together.

    Madam, this is a nice one but I think you need to float a consultancy on this, just for single ladies. It has to be free for a while then gradually you could write a Books on this and start organizing single forum with a token fee.

    Well done!

  3. Ennie says:

    True talk! but the thruth is bitter. We need to start learning how to live a balanced life & LIFE CAN BE COMPLETE IF WE GET IT RIGHT ( with God’s help though).

  4. JesusFreak says:

    Great stuff.. New looking blog. Learning more about relationship

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