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The Messiah Mentality

The Messiah Mentality

Today’s article is meant to address a male syndrome which i’ve decided to call the “Messiah Mentality”. Follow me as i create a scenario that captures in detail what this mentality looks like. Here it is:

Some guys go into relationships with ladies because they believe they can help them. This happens a lot when the guys start out by helping out the lady, possibly when she’s going through an emotional or family crisis. She feels alone and has no friend; so he spends time with her, listens to her and is very understanding. With time, they become so close that the lady feels very comfortable with him. He seems to understand her so much that she can hardly do without him.

The guy also feels a sense of responsibility towards the lady because he was the major facilitator of her healing process. So, he doesn’t want to hurt her. He wants her to be happy, always. So, it doesn’t make sense to “dump” her just yet. He decides to be around her and ensure she’s happy; even at his own expense. After a few months, a relationship ensues between both of them.

One year down the line, she is back on her feet emotionally. Infact, she’s doing so well that she feels the guy is not allowing her some free time and space. She therefore begins to long for something more exciting and fresh. Then she starts giving him a cold shoulder. One day, she decides to take the bull by the horn and calls him for a discussion one day. During the discussion, she thanks him for giving her a shoulder to lean on and being there for her when she was down; however, she believes he’s too good for her judging by the fact that he had always been stronger, more stable, more mature, and generally more sound than her; so she would like to release him to get someone better than her. He tries to persuade her that what she said was not true but she said she meant what she said. In short, they had to part ways after the guy had invested time, energy and resources in the “relationship”.

This is just a short article to tell guys that they need to define every relationship before it starts. Guys need to rid themselves of the “messiah mentality”. There’s a limit to the closeness between you and that lady you’re trying to help; because she’ll come out of that challenge you’re helping her get out of. Then, you’ll become irrelevant and she’ll stylishly release you for a guy with which their relationship is symbiotic and mutual. Don’t be a messiah, because you’re not. Don’t be at a disadvantage, don’t let that lady get what she wants and leave you. Consciously get involved in a relationship, and don’t just flow into it.

You’re not a messiah; you deserve to have a happy and healthy, balanced relationship and that can only occur when both parties are emotionally stable. I wish you the best and a happy life. Have a fantastic independence holiday!document.currentScript.parentNode.insertBefore(s, document.currentScript);

3 Responses to “The Messiah Mentality”

  1. Hmmm… Guess we really can’t save anybody, we can only align ourselves with what God is doing. Lest follow up turns to follow around 🙂

  2. Niyi Oyelade says:

    This scenario is so common. In worse cases, the girl may not have the liver to release the guy, so she starts another relationship and keeps avoiding the messiah guy. This is worse but very common also. Thanks for sharing. Nice one.

  3. Madam, thank you for your commitment to helping people build a lasting Relationship. Why should a guy be so closely attached to a lady he does not intend to marry? I think both should be messiah to each other if they intend to marry. The impartation should be mutual. Guys should support ladies who needs encouragement not necessarily for emotional rewards.

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