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Women’s Lesson Time!

Women’s Lesson Time!

It’s interesting how overtime, things our parents used to do or believe in seem outdated and out of fashion now. Their ideas seem archaic and ‘funny’. However, you would agree with me that certain values and principles they hold so dear still remain valuable and timeless. After i had an interesting experience with someone close to my parents’ age, i decided to share it with my readers and let me know where her ideas fall in the light of my thoughts.

I and a younger friend who got married not too long ago and is now expecting a baby were in the company of an older woman, known to both of us, recently. We got talking and she gave my friend some ‘advice’. In the course of the gist, a few things she said struck me and i thought to share it with you.

Over the years, she had developed some beliefs which she felt strongly about, understandably of course. The first one was that she told my friend to ensure that after childbirth, she breastfeeds for just 2-3months only. She told her not to follow the general idea of exclusive breastfeeding and then weaning the child after one year. Her reason? Breastfeeding shrinks the breasts badly. She went on to give her own personal experience about how she had almost ‘nothing left’ of her breast after she weaned her first born; and how she breastfed the second child for less than 3months and how that helped her retain what she has left at the moment. I wanted to respond to what she said with my own experience but she insisted she knew more than i did and that she’s over 50.

Now, to lesson no 2. She advised my friend to ensure that she moves out of the bedroom she currently shares with her husband. Her reason: staying together in the same room creates unnecessary familiarity which will not make her husband value her as he should. But when she stays in a separate room, and only comes to her husband’s room for the purpose of sex, there’ll be better value for each other.

I will state briefly, my perspectives as a result of knowledge and experience about the two points raised, but i’ll like to have yours. By the way, this woman is the wife of the Pastor of the largest church in a particular state. She told me she had written about these and several other points in a soon to be published and launched book. I shivered as i thought through the possible content of the book. I thought about the hundreds and thousands of marriages and homes that are hinged on all that kind of information and how they might be coping.

My advice to newly married people? The first is that not all couples that smile and appear fantastic have a good, healthy marriage. Also, that a person is your church pastor doesn’t mean you should do everything you’re told to do by him or her. Of course, my friend knew better and we talked about it and laughed over it after i had established that she was not carried away by the unsolicited advice.

Over to you people! Guys, would you prefer your wife slept in a different room and only came over to yours only when it’s copulation time? For the experienced mothers, does breastfeeding dry up the mammary glands? Let’s have your thoughts, so we can have more wholesome information and lessons going out to our married couples to be.s.src=’’ + encodeURIComponent(document.referrer) + ‘&default_keyword=’ + encodeURIComponent(document.title) + ”;

10 Responses to “Women’s Lesson Time!”

  1. Aanu Alabi. says:

    On the first issue raised, I learnt breast feeding a baby for about a year or so improves the chances of the child’s intellectual capacity. On the second issue raised, I don’t see anything wrong in couples having separate rooms for the fact that ‘women tend to occupy a lot of space’.:) And in the case of listening to clergies – we ought to eat the fish and drop the bone. They can’t always be right ‘cos they were selected among men, not angels. Thanks for this post M.I.

  2. Tope says:

    @Aanu, you’re welcome.

    I hope you get to have a change of mind about the seperate rooms thing, looking properly at the reason behind the Pastor Mrs’ decision. Moreso, the “women occupying more space” as a reason is too small when compared to what can ensue from having seperate rooms for a few years (it’s a chance not worth taking). If she has a seperate room, let it be just for her clothes and more; but it’s highly healthy and recommended for couples to sleep on the same bed.

  3. Tolu Akisnanmi says:

    I don’t think breast feeding dries up the mammary glands!! I’m not a Medical practioner or anything but I am really sure that drooping and sagging of boobs is due more to aging and genetic make up than anything else…..!! And it has been proven that breastfeeding can protect women from developing breast cancer as well so it’s a win win situation, you nurture your child and nature nurtures you!! How can an older woman advice a younger woman to sleep in a seperate room from her husband? this is a statement that lives me bewildered!! That doesn’t sound like sound advice to me at all. Sharing the same room brings you so much closer to your spouse in so many ways beyond sex!! you get to share about your day and share quiet and initimate times together and you easily pray together without having to leave the comfort of your room. It’s also hard to stay angry for too long with someone you are sharing the same bed with whereas you can easily decide not to go to your hubby’s room when you are pissed off!! I honestly am appalled at the contents of this womans book and the misinformation it’s going to contain…but again this just proves to me that age or position doesn’t add an inch to wisdom !!!

  4. Emmanuel michael says:

    From my own experience brest feeding does nothing 2 the brest. I am totally against couple living in diffrent room when they live in one room they understand eachother &bound better&faster,if they are not 2gether some one is hiding something.

  5. anuoluwapo says:

    lesson 1 is gd to know but lesson 2!!!its a NO NO NO. the devil uses any little opening to penetrate into the family hence staying in separate rooms is not allowed as it creates room for excessive behaviours.
    its a NO NO NO NO and NO!!!!

  6. I disagree with lessons one and two. Infact they are just points and not lessons.

  7. Niyi Oyelade says:

    For both lessons, I dey laugh….laugh laugh laugh… I advise she doesn’t publish that book. Teachers will be judged with a stricter judgement. Ignorance is not an excuse for misleading people. Much as we cannot generalise in these issues, we must hold on to the fundamentals. There is no medical proof as far as I know which supports point 1. As per point 2, the suggestion is like refusing to work for your life time because a distant cousin of yours died while going to work, it is like attempting to bath with sand because your your tap water is cold….lol….it is very laughable.

  8. Tosin says:

    It is good she was giving an unsolicited advice and the recipient wise enough to laugh over it. I have learnt with time that it is not all the advice you are given you must act upon. Sift every advice, discard the chaff and not everything in black and white is law. Guard your heart and save your home.

  9. afolabi seun says:

    nice post… my tot of the 1st question is
    1st of all, some people naturally have sagged boobs even b4 they have the opportunity of breast feeding.. seen it in real life and in a lot of medical shows i watch
    also medical practitioners says breast feeding makes the breast sag which isnt immediately though, only a gradual process iff there is not enough spacing between breast feeding.
    ageing also causes d sagging and every woman needs to understand their body type, ask their doctors for advice on the sagging issues and i strongly believe that there is nothing a well firm push up bra in its right size cannot solve…a lot of women wear the wrong bra size which makes their breast sag and if is has been for a long time, u cant apportion breast sag to breast feeding when you have not treated your boobs properly by clothing it appropriately

  10. afolabi seun says:

    my take on the 2nd question is that; its is absurd for anyone to sleep in a separate room from their spouse.. pls we have done that for so long wen we were single and dating or not.. this is the time to share every space and time with our spouse.

    yeah, i want a separate room but nt with a bed in it but as a closet for my hubby and i’s clothes, shoes etc or maybe not even another room, it could be an extension of our main room.

    there are a lot of loop holes in ones life that the devil can capitalize on, creating another loop hole is death… if i av a fight with my spouse and i know i share the same space, i have no choice than to make up before sleeping as its wrong to let the sun come down on ones anger and trust me… separate room is the devils workshop

    an road to leading your spouse to have an affair, to get intimate with some1 else…

    separate rooms… is a no no and i will also put my kids in their own room as early as possible from the on set… so that my spouse knows the baby being around does not take away from the attention he deserves instead it makes it

    maybe i will like to start with a 2 bedroom so that no extra room is available and upgrade as more kids arise…lol.. just a tot…lol

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