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I’ve met a number of couples who started their marriages with all the love in the world. They had big dreams and plans to make them happen. Impossible was nothing; everything was in place in their home and the future looked picture perfect.But along the line, each party had to make defining decisions; career change decisions, entrepreneural/business decisions, etc. Those decisions then turned out to cost more than was bargained for because they were not done properly at all. Let’s take a look at a particular scenario.

Couple X started their marriage with both of them in the corporate world – good jobs and a very promising career path; until the husband decided to fire his boss. He believed he was better of being his own boss, having his own thing, having control of time and so on. Shortly after his decision, he submits his resignation letter and it was only afterwards that he decided to “inform” his wife about his decision!The wife felt hurt and betrayed and did not hide how she felt. But he only viewed her as an enemy of progress. He withdrew to himself and threw himself into his business. He worked long and hard. He never spoke in detail to her about his business, had business meetings without her presence within the vicinity. He virtually shut her out. Today, which is about 2years after he resigned his job and started business, he has almost nothing to show for it; the business is not doing well and he’s almost always broke. Today, his wife mocks him and makes derogatory statements about him. She has lost every sense of respect for him. Today, they don’t do most things together because the wife doesn’t feel a “part of him and his life”. She has grown so independent within the marriage as well that she’s planning a vacation by herself, for herself, without his knowledge!

This type of action by the man gets one thinking of possibilities of ways the man thinks. Is it that he doesn’t value the wife or he wants to be, and stay independent within his marriage? Could he have avoided all these ripple effects of his actions or are they fall outs of a fundamental personal problem? Do i sense some insecurity, some esteem problem?

Some guys that read this might say he went too far by hiding such important information from his wife until after the act. But i guess these things have a way of starting small until things get aggravated.Let’s have your thoughts people, especially suggestions on how things can get back to where, or maybe close to how they were when their love first begun.


4 Responses to “SOLO-MAN”

  1. Salient issues been raised here. Couples must ensure that they do not keep secrets from each other. I have seen wifes buy land, build houses with out their husbands knowledge. Similarly i have seen men open accounts or dabble into investments without letting their wife know.

    I personally see it as a sin against God if i hide any thing from my wife.

    We should always remember that the 2 shall become 1

  2. anuoluwapo says:

    In as much as not “all” things should be discussed in marriage (for the sake of sanity; i heard!), critical decisions affecting the 2 parties should be discussed.


  3. Bukky Alozie says:

    Men from creation are sluggish from creation. They have ego problem and don’t want to submit. They feel its only a woman that shld submit, at the end they make costly mistakes. The woman now bears the consequences of the mistake.

  4. Tope says:

    @Bukky: please don’t come too hard on men, and don’t generalize, no matter how many “sluggish” men you’re surrounded by. Men have an ego which is God given, but can be mismanaged or badly controlled by the person that owns it. Ego is meant to be healthy, and to serve as the drive that should make a man strive to succeed against all odds, to take responsibility for their wrong decisions and move on. God’s instruction for women to submit has also not changed, that’s why it’s strongly important to marry only the person one trusts his sense of judgement sufficiently to submit to him.

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