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Look before you leap!

Look before you leap!

In the past one decade at least, things have advanced generally, fashion has become more important as various things, including getting a job and retaining it as well as access to places where business deals can be closed are linked to one’s appearance. Phones, cars and laptops have become more shapely and attractive; and this has affected the taste of guys when it comes to their choice in relationships.

Many guys who were deprived growing up are on the lookout for ladies who’ve got taste, as against a woman who is particular about her roles as a wife and mother in the home. I remember an instance of a guy who grew up in a poor home. He was fortunate as he grew up to associate with people who motivated and helped him grow in every way; his pocket and taste also grew. Around that time, he was in a relationship with a lady who the average guy will love to have; she had good character, a good job, and was a good cook! She wasn’t particularly the type to initiate the need to go eat out or hang out or go to the movies and all. After a while, he dumped her, saying she was “too domesticated”.

He later met a ‘sophisticated’ lady who had a foreign background and met his new status and who he could ‘show off’; they had fun hanging out and tripping around. Shortly after they met, they got married. A few months down the line, they started having issues. He discovered she couldn’t cook at all and was too independent. In his words, he said she could not even boil rice well. He had to start eating out and now, they’re separated.

It’s too much work attempting to get married to someone whose background or lifestyle is too different from ours. Those relationships are called high maintenance relationships; and on the day one person gets tired or feels cheated that he/she is the only one making the compromises, things begin to fall apart. I know a few guys who, when I met who they intend to marry, felt sorry for the guys in advance. A younger friend toasted a lady who told him before hand that she cannot suffer at all and needed to have ACs in every part of the home including the kitchen and he still went ahead with her!

Another lady always insisted that her boyfriend needed to get her into chartered cabs all the time; she also kicked against his getting a line that would help them talk for free, and that if he loved her, he would spend on her, no matter the amount. Another lady who demanded a 42” Plasma TV told the guy she wanted either that or nothing! I noticed that most guys seem to lack the capacity to see these pointers and go headlong, only to start having issues after.

Guys, before you go ahead with that lady, please pause and think. Some women insist on going on vacation even when the family is working on projects; they want the latest phones or jewelry or whatever; and the men work all their lives to satisfy them and to avoid nagging. Guys, before you go ahead with that relationship, engage the thoughts of an older, respected, woman. Stop looking for fantasy ladies; you can make your virtuous lady as fashionable and sexy as you want her to be after marriage. Look before you leap!

 

One Response to “Look before you leap!”

  1. Word. The key thought here is think about the longterm dimensions of what you are getting into… if you go for what is temporary be sure it will not be there at 70.

    We really need to look before we leap… and think! You can save yourselves years of heart ache, but wise counsel.

    Well done!

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