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Don’t be on the giving end…..

Don’t be on the giving end…..

I was once in a couples’ meeting and it was question time. A lady who was there with her husband got up to ask a question. She complained bitterly about how the husband went everywhere with his phone, including the toilet! She said he slept with the phone under the pillow and never lost sight of it. She said she was almost sure that the husband was not cheating on her but was curious to know what the obsession was with the phone. She went ahead though, to say she had gotten hold of the phone at some point and read it, and discovered that the husband had loaned someone some money without informing her. She had apparently nagged about the issue a dozen times, little wonder she came to talk about it in a large meeting!

I believe that women take a lot of things that we want to scream about; but with a lot of patience, we can handle things better. I can’t imagine what would’ve happened when they got back home after the couples’ meeting…..chai!

Trust is earned; but we need to give it. We need to hold ourselves from being reactive to issues, even when we feel justified and right. We need to communicate our fears to our husbands in a non threatening way, they’re not monsters. We also need to tell them everything, without holding back, believing that one day, they’ll find it “safe” to share freely. It’s a lot of work.

Nagging is irritating, trust me, you don’t want to be on the giving end. You just might shut out your man from giving without holding back. Have you ever left a note carelessly around where he can see it? And in the note you have things you admire about him, even the ones that are yet to become his reality? Having a great marriage is a test of creativity with a good balance of patience and tact.

Perhaps, you want to give practical ideas on how best she should’ve handled her husband’s phone obsession? Let’s hear it….

Have a great week!} else {

2 Responses to “Don’t be on the giving end…..”

  1. Great piece MI. I think the question was not necessary in that open meeting. She is suppose not to react to her husband for that good gesture of his. Perhaps, he knows the wife will react that was why he was keeping the information from her. Nonetheless, I think both should be empowered to do what is right at no detriment to the family happiness and progress.

  2. Bukky Alozie says:

    I think the woman is right to an extent becos some men can really be funny and drag the woman into problems. My hubby stood as a guarantor to someone receiving loan and the person had problem with the establishment that employed him, he was suspended, no means of paying the loan. My hubby is at the receiving end paying the loan from his salary for the next two yrs, the family is suffering from what my hubby did ‘favour’. What do u think?

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