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We Wish We Knew…..that Romantic Love Has Two Stages

We Wish We Knew…..that Romantic Love Has Two Stages

romantic love1


At 1st glance, this point looks like a repetition of the “love is not enough” point, but let’s take a closer look.

I once met a lady & we got chatting; she went on and on talking excitedly about her fiance and along the line asked me what I do. In answering, I mentioned the fact that I teach people practical ideas on how to work on their marriage. With a questioning look, she asked, “Why do you have to work on a marriage”? Aren’t married people supposed to be in love?

In a quick flash, her question reminded me of a statement I heard my mum make repeatedly while I was growing up. She constantly said, “My marriage must work”. I wondered at the statement as much as at the passion with which she said it. Now, I kinda get it…..

When I was dating hubby, there was no GSM! We wrote letters! When he started his IT, we had arrangements where I went to a NITEL booth in town to call his office line and we spoke between 7 & 7.30am or till whenever airtime got exhausted before office hours began. On some occasions, i would board buses after 6pm/7pm, travel to see him in school. I could do anything; same with him, it was mutual and we didn’t think about it or consider anything as work! That is Stage 1.

The second stage of romantic love is intentional! It is a test of your maturity – emotional, mental, spiritual, inspite of how you feel. It requires work to keep emotional love alive.

Many married people feel their spouses don’t love them anymore, simply because he/she doesn’t do the things they want (speak their love language). Husband loves to touch, wife loves to gist, both are not getting what they want, frustration begins, communication freezes and shuts down; yawa gases! You’ll be amazed how badly things can degenerate without intervention!

If your marriage is in Stage 2, don’t fret. Settle down and develop a plan. Na project o! You had a big wedding, spent millions, gave your committment to love for life in front of many witnesses. Make good your word, make it work!

Watch out for point 3 soonest…….

Have a great day!


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