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We Wish We Knew the Value of Listening in Conflicts!

We Wish We Knew the Value of Listening in Conflicts!

listening

 

In my last note, I mentioned that conflicts have a potential of destroying an evening, a week, a month, or a lifetime!

 On the other hand, conflicts have the potential of teaching us how to love, support, and encourage each other. This perception is by far the better road to travel. The difference is in how the conflicts are processed.

 If you don’t get anything from this note, get this: you need to learn to LISTEN. When most of us have conflicts, we feel the need to talk, but talking without listening leads to arguments. The real need is the need to listen!

 Has your wife/fiancee ever told you, “We need to talk” before? Honestly, how does it make you feel? A guy told me clearly that it puts him in a bad mood.

 After understanding the value of listening, I once suggested to a lady to try tell hubby she’ll like to listen to him. You know what he said? He asked her excitedly if she’ll like to listen to his ideas. Requesting a time for listening creates a much different, positive atmosphere!

 Listening time requires understanding and clarifying statements and assumptions. Ladies sometimes mess up conflict management because they could become emotional, get petty and attack personalities instead of addressing issues. This exercise is a logical and mental one, it needs to be learnt and developed.

 Once you listen, then talk, then listen, arguments will gradually reduce and you can begin to look for a solution to the conflict. Tough, but doable!

 This idea is based on the concept of showing genuine respect for the other individual, giving them full freedom to think their own thoughts, have their own opinions, as well as reasons for their opinions. It’s expressing understanding and affirming that their ideas make sense. It creates an atmosphere of friendship.

 This is getting longer than I thought.  We’ll wrap up in the next post, hopefully. I remain committed to your marital success!

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