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We Wish We Knew That Sexual Fulfilment is Not Automatic!

We Wish We Knew That Sexual Fulfilment is Not Automatic!

Not Automatic


Sex is so powerful. I’ve seen sex cause and colour issues, it has broken homes, messed people up; On the nice side, plenty of sex has made many married couples begin to look and think alike! Don’t ask me, that’s what I heard:)

I’m very excited and proud to say that I and hubby got married as virgins about 10years ago. As we prepared for the wedding day, we were anxious but excited about a free flow dand endless bouts of it.

We had done enough reading and gone through some counselling before marriage, so getting started wasn’t herculean. It happened with amazing frequency, at ‘funny’ locations and spontaneously too. Down the line, the differences in our make up and hence, sexual appetites/perspectives began to show. I wish I knew that……

For men, intercourse averagely can happen whether they’re happy or sad, ill or well, stressed up or relaxed. For women, sex is a build up, the natural flow of a ‘happy’ state of the relationship. Averagely, if a woman feels hurt or let down, sex is very far from her mind. To the woman, sex is an intimate act and grows out of a loving relationship. When a woman is excited, she’ll give her all in sex.

However, men averagely tend to think that sex will solve whatever relationship issues they have with their wives. Can you imagine a couple just finished a heated argument, 30mins after, Oga says he’s sorry and begin to ‘touch the right spots’ expecting sex? Interestingly, what he’s saying is, “lemme show you how much I love you”.

What do you think madam @ the top is thinking? The average woman will expect ‘sincere apologies and genuine forgiveness to precede the experience of ‘making love’. I am very aware that vice versa is true in some other cases; as in men could fall into this category too!

We once took a look at love languages. When you’ve spoken a woman’s love language, she’s more likely to warm up to sex. Sex for women must begin before you both land in the bedroom.

Some women love it when you stay with them while they do the chores, or tell them how lovely they look, or touch them tenderly in ways that gradually make them ready and desirous of sex.

I spoke with a lady whose husband has never had foreplay with. Whenever he was ready, he told her he wanted to have sex, and expected her to cooperate. She had never enjoyed sex. They’ve been married for over 5yrs.

Before sex can be truly enjoyable, couples must communicate to each other what they really want; and they must keep at it until each person begins to enjoy, at least, a good degree of satisfaction. Once you get each other’s rhythm, it gets on autocruise!

We’ll continue with Sex after now. Have an amazing week. I care!

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4 Responses to “We Wish We Knew That Sexual Fulfilment is Not Automatic!”

  1. nnenna says:

    communication is key . communicate and communicate both ways. man and woman. very important. thanks for the post

  2. Ekpo Ekpo says:

    Thank you for letting me know so that I don’t have to wish I knew. Great piece Ma’am

  3. Abukeiammy says:

    Thanks for the post, quite educative.

  4. It is good to always have the balanced view of anything at all. It works well that way. Nothing works automatically, if it looks like it then someone made it work.

    Thanks for this 🙂

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