Can we talk 3? I want a divorce…….

This statement used to sound more alien several years ago. These days, it’s a statement many are getting used to. It’s no news that many people are in unhappy marriages. They simply chose to stay put because of the children, fear of the unknown, the stigma that may follow being divorced, the financial implication, etc. The bold ones make the move and go for a divorce.

Research shows that the 2 leading reasons for divorce are growing apart and couples not being able to talk.

Dear husband or wife, there’s an obvious truth that needs to be shared as a reminder. Your spouse can’t read your mind, and you shouldn’t try to read theirs. Don’t presume, don’t prejudge. Don’t assume your spouse knows what you think.

Ask questions as calmly and politely as you can and wait for an answer. If unclear, ask to get better clarity. Sounds easy, but we all know it’s not.

Here’s another obvious reminder. The things you don’t feel like talking about or feel hard/uncomfortable to talk about are more likely to do your marriage the most good. Talk about things you may not want to talk about. Talk about your concerns; your fears, the bills, the bleak looking nature of your career or business. Talk about feelings — happy and sad. Be intentional with your spouse in saying, ‘This is important to me,’ or ‘This is not important to me.’ And don’t prove to him/her that what has been communicated as important is not. Listen and try to understand your spouse a bit more, especially as they are evolving with age.

Don’t stop talking, and listen twice as much. You’ll be saving your home megally!