Don’t mind me, i couldn’t resist using this picture yet again! Back in the days when men were mostly on the field and women took care of the home, there was very little confusion about who did what; roles were pretty clear. But these days when women can get to the top of the corporate ladder just like men or even achieve more, there’s a need to define roles within the home. This is vital as it can be a major source of conflict in the early months of marriage.
In Africa where I come from, men are not used to apologizing to anyone, let alone women even when it’s glaring they’re wrong. I dare say that a good number of us grew up seeing our fathers as the ‘king of the jungle’. Their word was law and you probably never saw them display any sign of weakness; let alone apologize!
In my last note, I mentioned that conflicts have a potential of destroying an evening, a week, a month, or a lifetime!
I found this picture hilarious, i just had to use it! Pls don’t tell me it doesn’t go with the title! lol! Now to today’s gist…….. I and hubby grew up in similar backgrounds; so I never really thought we would have major disagreements. When we were in courtship, we seemed extremely compatible and agreeable most times.
I am not saying that the lady you marry will turn out to be exactly like her mother, or that the man will be exactly like his father. I am saying that you are both greatly influenced by your parents. An apple does not fall far from the tree!
At 1st glance, this point looks like a repetition of the “love is not enough” point, but let’s take a closer look.
Like I wrote in the first part of this article, being in love is not an ADEQUATE FOUNDATION for building a SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE. When guy meets girl, the strong attraction kicks in and later the feelings become mutual, they think about each other round the clock. It does get to a time when the thoughts become obsessive!
Recently, I wrote about setting boundaries for dating couples who have physical touch as their primary love language. But I think I wrote with an assumption that people know where to draw the lines. On deeper thought, I’ve seen that people act in different ways for different reasons. Some people know what’s right, but they give justification for whatever else they ‘choose’ to do.