Religion or Spirituality is a topic that dating couples don’t treat deeply before marriage. In Nigeria where most people are religious, the less religious party in the relationship simply cooperates with the stronger one who drags him/her to church, so the ‘flow’ of the relationship can be smooth.
Sex is so powerful. I’ve seen sex cause and colour issues, it has broken homes, messed people up; On the nice side, plenty of sex has made many married couples begin to look and think alike! Don’t ask me, that’s what I heard:)
“I find it difficult to be just friends with someone of the opposite sex without getting emotionally involved”. “We were like 5 and 6 when we were going out, but as soon as we got married, everything changed; we became like total strangers”. “It feels strange marrying him just like that, seeing we only just met”. “We’ve been friends for a few years, but that’s all i wanna have with him, just friendship”!
Many dating couples or people in courtship never really discuss HOW they’ll handle their finances after marriage. They just assume that they’ll figure it out.
Don’t mind me, i couldn’t resist using this picture yet again! Back in the days when men were mostly on the field and women took care of the home, there was very little confusion about who did what; roles were pretty clear. But these days when women can get to the top of the corporate ladder just like men or even achieve more, there’s a need to define roles within the home. This is vital as it can be a major source of conflict in the early months of marriage.
In Africa where I come from, men are not used to apologizing to anyone, let alone women even when it’s glaring they’re wrong. I dare say that a good number of us grew up seeing our fathers as the ‘king of the jungle’. Their word was law and you probably never saw them display any sign of weakness; let alone apologize!