“Taking people in to live with you is a thankless job”
This statement summarizes most of what I will be sharing on this topic. By the way, I got this statement from a mother of mine who once shared some of her challenges with people she took in with me.
If you are yet to take people in to live with you, please erase the thought that you’re about to “save the world” when you start from your mind. Even though what you’re doing by taking people in is that you’re solving a “survival need” of shelter, the truth is that, after sometime, the novelty of the “big deal” you have done will begin to wear off. Some live-ins handle things way better than others, but the truth is that, people relax and “feel at home” after staying with you for some time. Would you not do the same too?
Let me help you drive it home a bit. The best way to handle those who live with you is to ensure that your expectations are not too high as regards how they reciprocate your gesture of love while they are with you. See them like you see your biological children. Inspite of the fact that we pay lots of money to feed them, pay their school fees, house them, they still do loads of things that make us want to just beat them up many times!
Over the course of the past 16 years plus of being married, several people have lived with us (few older than us, some contemporaries, several younger), and I’ll be borrowing some learnings from these incidents to share with you on this series. We started having people stay with us from a couple of months after marriage by the way……
Just a parting thought on today’s point. The same way you won’t expect your children to live daily like you’ve been doing them a huge favor all these years, don’t expect those who live with you to do the same. Sounds extreme, but it is what it is. When you truly take people in, you will be rewarded; mostly not by them, not the way you expect it to pay you, and not at the instant you expect it to make sense.
If you believe you should take people in, just do it; and remember that it’s a thankless job. Do it in obedience to God. That single way of thinking frees you from taking offence many times; it has helped me.
Watch out for Part 2……