What kind of people should you take in to live with you, especially if you have growing children in the house?
A person grounded in bad vices is a “NO” (for the sake of your children, even if you can handle him/her, considering the fact that you won’t always be home to monitor what’s going on)
I’m not saying you should take in a perfect person or a saint. Please find below a few very important factors for taking a person into your home.
First off, it’s important that your proposed live-in demonstrates teachability a healthy level of deference/respect to you and your spouse. Does this person you’re considering respect your wife especially? I’ve seen too many cases of wives “suffering” because the “live-in” person feels it was the husband that took him/her in and the husband is the one paying the bills. When your spouse is treated as less than your partner by a live-in guest & you handle it with levity, you’re about to have a bitter spouse & an unhappy marriage. The result is not pleasant.
Secondly, be a team with your spouse. In marriage, two have become one. Anyone else is a 3rd party. You need to do everything possible to ensure that you are on the same page in everything. As much as possible, be ready to share anything that has to do with you and the live-in guest (doubts, concerns, good things, etc) with your spouse. This helps you keep the bond between you as a couple, even with the presence of a 3rd party.
Thirdly, have ground rules in your home. This is so critical! It gives you peace of mind and good grounds to vex for your live-in should clear rules be flouted. Where there is no law, there is no sin. The person planning to live with you needs to have a disposition of being willing to live by the rules of your home. When you have basic rules in place that even your biological children are expected to live by, expectations are well managed and there’s order in the home. I’ll share some examples of rules in my next article.
Stay tuned for Part 4……