Money is the cause of the biggest issues in relationships, most especially, in marriage. I wish couples understood the inherent danger in not planning their finances; if they did, they’ll take things more seriously!
Over a wk ago, I heard someone I respect so much talk about the degree of planning being put together towards the total education of their children ALONE, he’s on a few years’ plan to put the money aside. Meanwhile, before you think too far, he’s rich! If he has to do that, who are we?
Couples need to agree on what percentage of their income to save, spend or give away. Without a plan, financial struggles take the front seat. What I discovered is that most people succumb to pressure to do more than they’re really able to. There’s no point. The people you’re out to impress don’t really care as such; and if they do, so what???
All that is required is an objective projection of the future and your behaviour should change. A man decided to start saving and investing. He told his wife who didn’t care; she loves to spend. On a particular day, as usual, she asks him for aso ebi money. He tells her he’s sorry but needs to put the money together for them to buy a piece of land in a choice location.
She told him point blank that she’s not interested in land! In her words, “Na land I go tie? Give me money for wrapper”! I don’t wanna say how frustrating it can be having a spouse who depletes what you are supposed to put together. If only he/she knew!
Have a plan. Start today. The future comes upon us without ‘respect’. It just bumps on us; and only the prepared can take the heat. You don’t need to be rich, you only need wisdom to plan. Let’s learn from the ants, they work in summer against winter. If you’re aligned and plan, fights will reduce, and no one in d marriage will make unnecessary demands. It’s working for me, it can work for you!
Collaborate; don’t Compete! The power of synergy.
By default, men are fast, by default, women last. Woman, don’t kill yourself if your husband seems way ahead of you and handles virtually all the financial obligations because he has a well paying job while you seem to depend on him for many things because your ‘small business’ is barely breaking even. If you keep at it, be sure that things won’t always be that way, as he will need to leave that job after one or two more decades there. Vice versa is true!
Your business however, has the capacity to grow in leaps and bounds in that same period. So, I’ll advice you both work as a unit all the way, collaborate; don’t compare, don’t despise your husband/wife’s small, growing business, support each other, leverage on each other’s strengths and grow your finances!
I know a couple where the wife’s once small business was ultimately responsible for taking care of the children’s education abroad, made them have real estate and some other investments. The husband who was once an employed ‘big boy’ had to be retired, stopped earning the big bucks and then began to notice his wife’s business. All of a sudden, it became ‘our business’ because it was doing much more than paying the bills; some of the kids after graduation came back to manage some parts of the business which had become a conglomerate!
Collaboration/synergy is so powerful, especially when your goals are clear. Competition is unhealthy, and divides your results by huge numbers. Try and work out your differences, and begin to collaborate.
My next note is about SEX. Stay tuned…..!
Have a great day!
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