NOT A DASH

Hello my peeps! How was the weekend? Mine was packed and i have a full head now…..Anyways, i had to tell myself that it’s been over one week ago that i posted an article and i thought to share one or two thoughts with you. For a while now, we’ve been looking at the need to “shift” within our marriages in order to have a great one.

I read the story of a couple who celebrated 30 years of marriage and they had so much to share, some of which i’ll be writing about, i’ll also try and spice it up with some personal examples. He gave an illustration about an old pastor who was getting ready to retire. Someone asked him, “Of all the things you have learned in your years of ministry, what is the most significant? Here is what he said: “The true measure of a man’s relationship with God can be seen on his wife’s countenance.”

Just look into his wife’s eyes, and you will learn much about the man. Yes, there might be exceptions, but the truth of the matter is how a man treats people, starting with his family members, is directly connected to his personal relationship with God. A man can fool the people at church or at work (at least for a season), but the people he lives with – not a chance. Men! treat us well, your work speaks o!

There’s a quote i saw this morning which says, “Our journey to success hardly goes perfectly straight from beginning to the end” and this saying cannot be more true even for marital success. Straight and smooth is not natural! The error most of us make is that our expectations are unrealistic because we don’t factor into things, the role of working to have a good marriage.

All married and unmarried people must note this. A marriage relationship is a living thing, in many ways similar to a plant. There are things you can do to enhance it, make it flourish, and there are things you can do in terms of neglect. It can go without water and sunlight for a while, but make no mistake…the principle of sowing and reaping is just as relevant in marriage as in any area of life. If you don’t invest in your marriage, you don’t get anything. All you have is 2 people cohabiting and doing their own things. Time and communication are key investments in a marriage relationship.

I remember a couple friend whose wife shared with me how her marriage was before and how it is now. I think there’s a lot to learn from her story about “shifting”. She’s a sparky sanguine, meaning she loves to talk! She’s always excited and full of life but the husband is soooo quiet and loves his privacy! The lady couldn’t handle it cos she would always feel like talking while he never did, it got so bad that she wanted to go crazy since she wasn’t used to keeping quiet. At a point, she made a decision to channel her “talking prowess” into expressing to him what a fantastic man he was, she dotted on him, showed him so much care, praised him so much that he began to respond more to her. Today, they talk a lot more, and she also knows when to give him space to be alone. One person decided to act to bridge the gap (shift). They’ve made good progress. In the same scenario, some other lady would have chosen friends outside to discuss issues with and gradually loose the need for the husband as a companion and confidant. It’s so easy to lose what we have if we don’t act.

There’s no secret to having a great marriage. It’s about first desiring one, understanding what it takes and that involves getting information, then, working towards it based on the different personalities of you and your spouse. Marriage is a journey, not a dash. We’re working at it, moving on and still counting…..

Have a fantastic week ahead!
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