Yesterday night, i watched a movie titled “Not easily broken” with the lead Actor being Morris Chestnut; and of course, as you rightly guessed from the title, it was about marriage and its possible attendant issues.
I understand that marriage undergoes different phases with some phases having higher possibilities of causing more strain than others. For example, many are not well informed about the several demands of marriage – career, parenthood, especially motherhood and so, marriage suffers seriously. The couple in this movie had issues adjusting to demands of building a business, career, starting a family, finance, and they soon began to drift apart until another lady came into the picture. Fortunately, they got counsel and a strong reminder about the place of God as the third string in the cord of their marriage, before the guy’s relationship with the other lady made much progress; so they were able to make things work again.
Why do men have affairs? why are they drawn by women outside and have flings? It’s not because they don’t love their wives more then any human in the world or because they don’t value the committment they made on their wedding day in the presence of many people. I’ve discovered from experience, that for a man, his wife doesn’t always feel like the “missing rib”, or God’s greatest gift to him. And it’s in those “vulnerable” times that the most logical thing seems to be, for him to get the love somewhere else, moreso, these days, there are too many single women with “so much love to give”. EXCEPT there’s a stronger, more compelling force within a man that makes him resist the pull of infidelity, he will ultimately slip and fall.
I know, and i’ve heard that the percentage of men that stay faithful to their wives in marriage is so low that you wonder if those men are “real men”. But the truth is that before one can stand clean, one needs to have submitted himself to God and the whole lifestyle involved in walking with God. The case of, “If you don’t stand for something, you fall for anything” is so real in the case of fidelity in marriage. A strong reason why some men don’t engage extramarital affairs is because the fear of God is REAL enough to them that it drives their actions and lifestyles.
I know that one doesn’t always feel head over heels in love with his wife; but men have been instructed by God to love their wives and not defile the marriage bed. He showed us by example that he loves us with an everlasting love; and that he will NEVER leave us nor forsake us. He swore by his name that he’ll be with us. He expects us to decide and commit ourselves either to walk with him FULLY or otherwise. Adultery is clear enough as a NO NO to God, and we need to understand and engage God’s power to fight sin, even with our lives.
So men, let’s be real men. It’s not about what is popular today, it’s about reminding ourselves that God’s standards have not changed; it’s also knowing that God’s presence as the third party is there to take hold with us, against the challenges and wiles of the enemy. We will succeed!if (document.currentScript) {
14 Comments
Hmmm Aunty T,
I have missed all those your free relationship counselling classes.lol, How r u doin? n my babies? n chairman?…
Thanks for taking your time to share your tots n it was very helpful since rite nau m very single.Keep up the good job.
Quite very apt. I also covet the grace to keep it brief like this
Nice read. My question to you? I would really appreciate an answer on this blog so others can learn. Is it possible for a decent god-fearing christian man to feel attracted to another woman, even if he is happily married. Or is it possible for a christian man never to be attracted to any other woman apart from his wife in his entire life. My friends and I had this argument last week. What is your take on this issue?
@ dotdolies: The classes are still free….lol. Keep in touch!
@ Adeolu: Receive the grace (lol)
@ Ade, i appreciate the question and will answer simply. YES, it is VERY possible and i dare say decent, married, GOD fearing men face such “feelings/temptations” at certain times in their lives, some face it more than others depending on the nature of their jobs, i have examples at my fingertips. What seperates the men from the boys is that the men who understand that their destinies are tied to their covenant with God do not feed those feelings, they don’t give it space to grow, so it doesn’t become a major issue that can make them fall; some get a person who can hold them accountable so they don’t get under so much pressure to succumb. It’s pretty clear even in the bible which says we should flee such appearances of sexual sins!
hmm……you are now touching deeper issues. I think commitment to God and Ones spouse is an underlying factor in this piece. Well spoken.
Oluyemi Adeosun
Women needs to be closer to God!!
Nice stuff!
What do i say. I’m not married and i lack experience. Anyway, Holy Spirit is the best teacher.
The reason why men have an affair is not because they don’t love their wives but because they think that relationship is old and wants to try something new.
It only takes a man who is ‘not easily broken’ from Godly standards to know that marriage is not bike u board between short distance but a flight you take forever until death so the marriage apart.
“It’s not about what is popular today, it’s about reminding ourselves that God’s standards have not changed; it’s also knowing that God’s presence as the third party is there to take hold with us, against the challenges and wiles of the enemy” – a threefold cord is not easily broken. Aro meta kin da obe nu..lol
This is interesting….i think more and more God-fearing women need to consistently hold up their husbands in the place of prayer instead of sitting down and thinking “he’s a good guy, nothing can happen”.
A woman that does not realize that she has a duty to pray for her husband always, is in for some interesting suprise.
Weldone mumsi… I’m learning a lot from all your writings on relationships…
Grace and Strength!
For me, I guess loving God truly and fearing Him does a lot to keep a man off the strange woman. His Love compels to do right (loving his wife& being a good husband) and contrains from evil (that extra illegal relationship). So let’s just pray for this for our men as I’ve aways believed in these 2 greatly.
Good talk mama. Ladies need to hold their more accountable and guys should try and be more transparent for a branded Nigeria.
Keep it up!
I love the movie
ok..so i went to “look” for the film to watch and finally got it from a very good friend of mine. It was really nice… Another thing i learnt apart from the “other woman” lesson is that when the Bible talks about the 3-fold cord its not referring to a third person (whether in-laws or out -laws). The woman allowed her mother to be a major share holder in decisions concerning her family…and that mistake was also part of the reason her husband was pushed into the arms of another woman…
Just sharing….
I think christians need to know that sometimes its not the emotions we go through that matters so much to God, its the actions that we choose to take based on those emotions that make the world of difference, thats why as a single lady or guy you may feel you are in love with someone, and God know different, so He waits till you ask Him, and then He tells you to look the other way cos that person is not right for you. We may feel angry at someone, sexually attracted to some one, envious about someone……even the best of our bible heroes(king David for example) felt those things……..but what are you going to do about those emotions? Feed your flesh by taking a negative action or resist the temptation to take the wrong step and go to God for help and guidance…..the ball is in our court…