Several years ago, it was norm to have the men being the primary/sole provider for the family. The typical/conventional family had the father towing the path of developing a successful career while the woman was at home, taking care of the children, or at best, teaching in a nearby government school where they close at between 1-2pm daily. The situation then had the wives heavily dependent on the husband; it was easy to obey without much questioning. Then, cases of wives attempting suicide were rampant, some developed mental imbalance when they heard of their husbands cheating on them. I was not told, i know a few. Largely, one could say that wives were not independent.
These days however, the tables have kind of turned in the sense that in almost every profession, both genders are visible – as top executives of multinationals, on boards of organizations, successful entrepreneurs, in politics, etc. Ladies have become really independent and they match up the men in a number of ways.
This independence has created a twist to the issue of submission in the marriage setting. Imagine a woman who has hundreds of men and women reporting to him at work get home and the husband says she needs to apologize for coming late, or he wants her to prepare his favourite meal and do his laundry while attending to the kids before going to bed that same night.
I was gisting with a younger, female friend recently and she said it was unfair for females to change their names to their husband’s names; afterall it wasn’t even done in the bible days! She’s very likely to have regular conflicts with her husband except she decides to submit.
A lady wanted to sell a top to me recently. It looked very much like something in ‘vogue’ and she really wanted me to buy it. I told her i needed to show it to my husband before buying it, cos if he doesn’t like it, i won’t be able to wear it. She was shocked and said, ‘i like this your love o, i wish mine could be like that’. I wondered what she meant and figured she never really cared about her husband’s views on a number of things. When you acknowledge your husband’s place, you win his favour, always.
In my own view, submission is not ‘obey before complain’. It’s the understanding that your husband is your head, your driver or pilot and so it’s in his best interest to seek your good. He wouldn’t want to overspeed or drive wrecklessly; and the wife needs to make him see danger signs, oncoming vehicles, weather changes, etc in a way that shows you’re together, and not making him feel inadequate. There’re no 10 ways to it, wisdom and a lot of maturity is needed to submit.
There’s a truth we need to accept. That is, the husband is the head of the wife; and she’s the neckJ. She’s as vital as he is, but her views need not compete with his. A soft answer always turns away wrath. No guy likes to accept he’s wrong especially when a lady is rubbing it in. It is called EGO, massage it!
Generally, it’s easier to submit for some women than others, but it doesn’t excuse the act of not doing so. I’ve done things my husband told me not to do before, and surprisingly, the outcomes in some of the cases were not favourable, i have friends who have told me the same. It’s tough to submit when you’re the first born female in the family and you were responsible for taking care of your whole clan! But we’re told to, funny enough, that’s the only thing the bible instructs women to do in marriage.
Submission ain’t old skool…..it’s an instruction from God that we need to follow.
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