ON YOUR EPITAPH…..?

Two months ago, i lost an uncle; my Dad’s elder brother who was buried last week. He was a man of numerous achievements and status especially in the academia. Top people attended the funeral and for the first time in my life, i saw elderly men breaking down in tears.

This uncle of mine had a son and three daughters and all are married except one. At the commendation service, the son spoke about his father and i found his story truly inspiring. His Dad was quite soft spoken
but firm but their mum was(is) fire! The son said his father had never raised a hand against his mum even when he was justified to do so.

There was a day however, that he came really close to doing that. He caught himself and the children were around and some had seen it all. He then called and apologized to his children for what he had come so
close to doing and explained to them that such will not happen ever again.

The son was particularly touched by that action so much so that he mentioned the incident at his burial; he then made a vow in the presence of everyone present, especially his in laws and on behalf of his siblings, that they would not lay their against their wives even if they were justified to; and that they would uphold the legacy their dad had passed down to them. He said his respect for his dad doubled by virtue of that experience. There were so many great things they had to say about their dad and his role in their lives as a father and friend.

Apart from the fact that men need to be careful not to marry wives who will infuriate them to the point of wife battery; many people, and very importantly, parents are not humble enough to admit their errors. How quick are we to apologize?

Another thing i have to write about his story is the fact that the people closest to him had exceptional things to say about him, especially his children. Most times, familiarity makes people take advantage of people closest to them, and makes them treat family and very close friends with less devotion and love. There’s a proverb in my language that “It’s from afar that friendship is sweet”; but I dare say that it’s not friendships/relationships that go sour, it’s the people who renege on their commitment/responsibility along the line. I’d like to ask the husbands what your wife would say about you and your role as a husband 20 years from now? Parents, what would your children say about you when they’re old enough to stand on their own? Friends, what will your friends say about you when the years have gone by after series of challenges and triumphs?

There’s a quote i saw again recently which i found touching, it says:

“God is more interested in what I am than what I do; that’s why we’re called human beings, not human doings”

The bible states clearly that it’s better to attend funerals than weddings. I think it’s because they give us the opportunity to evaluate our lives and better prepare ourselves for eternity. I’d rather work on being the best i can for God and for my world than chasing shadows. I want my tombstone to read what i was and not what i did or acquired; and it requires continously adding value and leaving a lasting legacy.

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