Last week, i was having a chat with a guy who’s been married for a few years. He works on the island and lives on the mainland (meaning he spends most of his active time at work) and our “gist” centered around the implication(s) of friendships with single ladies at the same workplace. He seemed to have his own strong opinion backed by his stance on having undue closeness with those ladies.
As we gisted on, i remembered a true story i heard recently. This time, the lady was the married one. She worked in the same company with this charming, nice gentleman who just treated ladies right. They got to meet closely during a project they worked on together. After the project, they still made out time to be together. They went for lunch together, then dinners, when they had deadlines to meet and were working late or when they just wanted to be together. This went on for two years!
Two years later, her conscience couldn’t handle it. It goes without saying that she saw her husband as not knowing how to treat her right. She had become very irritable, then restless. She had to decide one day to have a chat with her husband about the “state of their marriage”.” Then she proceeded to go on a personal retreat out of town. She tried to hide the guilt and her husband made her see reason that facing their challenges together was what held the solution to a rocky marriage. She said nothing to him about the guy in the office.
She took a few days’ leave and travelled to her parents’ home under the guise that her doctor told her to observe strict bed rest for a few days. She was going to use that opportunity to think with a clear head on what her next steps would be. She arrived at her parents’ place on a wednesday afternoon. Even though she had told her mum she would come around, both parents were surprised to see her. She gave the same reason as the one she gave when she called them earlier on the phone. Her mum didn’t appear very convinced, but expressed joy in having her around all the same. She asked her several times within 1 hour how her husband was, how her marriage was doing, and so on. She changed the topic most times as she battled within her mind exactly what her plan was.
She moved into the room that had been prepared for her and laid on the bed, lost in thoughts. She thought about the
times she had with the guy in her office. They had at some point, started making secret plans for their future. He was in a sort of serious relationship, but he had said it before, that they had a chemistry that was simply “different”. He was ready to quit the relationship– for her. But she knew that plan was not as “neat” as it sounded back then. She was troubled; about the possibility of losing either the relationship or her marriage. She thought about her husband. Sincerely, he was a wonderful person, a loving, patient and understanding husband. But he didn’t seem to “trip” her anymore. He had become “ordinary”, nothing special.
She thought about her parents, especially her mother had a strong connection with God that made her nervous sometimes, and she became suddenly afraid that she would “know” there was something wrong. Since they lived in a
different state, she had been able to keep her secret… for awhile.
The next day after she arrived at her parents’ place, her mother came into her room to have a chat with her. She asked, “Honey, are you all right?” “Sure Mom, I’m fine,” she lied. “I don’t think you are. I think you’re in some sort of trouble because last night, I woke up and felt compelled to pray for you. I want you to talk to me.” I am in trouble now, she thought. How will I be able to conceal what’s on my mind from her?”
“Tell me everything.” She took a deep breath, swallowed hard, and said, “I purposely moved out of the house for a while, because i’ve been having a great deal of struggle inside of me; am having emotional issues, i’ve even thought about divorce recently.” There was a long silence. Then her mom said, “We love you. And because we love you, we will tell you what’s best for you. Marriage is a holy bond. Has he committed adultery? Has he ever hit you?” “No”, she replied. Then she went ahead to counsel her according to the bible about the sacredness of the marriage institution and how to deal with her emotions.
After the time with her mum, she felt lighter within and felt ready to handle the issues confronting her. She had to make a big decision, she decided to quit her job. She felt making a clean break would help her make a fresh start. She thought about what reason she would give her husband for deciding to quit. She was too ashamed to face her husband and tell her all that had happened. She had treated him unfairly. She didn’t want him hurt further. She thought long and hard…..
What would you tell her at this time? Is the idea of quitting a good move? Should she change her ways and not necessarily tell her husband? What would you advise her to do or not to do? Let’s keep our thoughts rolling in, and see if she’ll find what she needs/wants in your suggestions.
Enjoy the rest of your week!document.currentScript.parentNode.insertBefore(s, document.currentScript);