Hello guys, it has indeed been a while. The server that hosts my website was hacked on Monday and i had this article ready but couldn’t post it. Thank God it’s been rectified. There’re some thoughts which have been on my mind for a while and i’ll write on one of them today.
These days, i have observed a bothersome, yet prevalent trend in our society. That trend is the rate at which newly married couples get divorced (am talking about 1-2yr old marriages or slightly more), more bothersome is the percentage of these cases that are found in the church. It’s really amazing that over 90% of the cases i’ve seen have divorced over “very easily resolvable” issues. Issues that sound so childish, you feel like giving the parties concerned, especially the man, the head of the home, a good whipping! I agree that not only one thing causes divorce, but things degenerated badly over time and cause a breakdown.
I’ll like to refer to an article i wrote a while ago. It was a review of the vows that couples take during their wedding ceremony. Let’s take a look at an example of a marriage vow:
I, _____, take you, ______, to be my wedded wife. With deepest joy I receive you into my life that together we may be one. As is Christ to His body, the church, so I will be to you a loving and faithful husband. Always will I perform my headship over you even as Christ does over me, knowing that His Lordship is one of the holiest desires for my life. I promise you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, my tenderest care. I promise I will live first unto God rather than others or even you. I promise that I will lead our lives into a life of faith and hope in Christ Jesus. Ever honoring God’s guidance by His spirit through the Word, And so throughout life, no matter what may lie ahead of us, I pledge to you my life as a loving and faithful husband.
I, _____, take you, ______, to be my wedded husband. With deepest joy I come into my new life with you. As you have pledged to me your life and love, so I too happily give you my life, and in confidence submit myself to your headship as to the Lord. As is the church in her relationship to Christ, so I will be to you. _____, I will live first unto our God and then unto you, loving you, obeying you, caring for you and ever seeking to please you. God has prepared me for you and so I will ever strengthen, help, comfort, and encourage you. Therefore, throughout life, no matter what may be ahead of us, I pledge to you my life as an obedient and faithful wife.
Are these words not weighty enough for a person to just wake up and turn one’s back on a marriage? Are these words, usually said before God and man, not binding enough to keep one motivated against all odds to make things work? Are they not scary enough to ensure one thinks very well before venturing into it? Marriage is a call to obey God’s expectations within the union. It therefore requires committment, constant discipline to keep the big picture in focus irrespective of challenges.
I’m really considering creating a system that helps new couples adjust to the challenges and peculiarities of a young marriage. I think, a major reason why divorce rates are high is because women have become so empowered that they’re losing the use of tact and diplomacy in handling issues. Women say their minds so much that they say things that are absolutely unnecessary! On the other hand, men are so much under pressure that they don’t listen to their wives and want things done their way, they need to be sure they’re still in charge. It’s hard when a man marries a woman who is clearly more intelligent or successful than him. I’m not saying the men should marry a moron, but marry someone who will not keep you permanently on the defensive. That can’t be a happy home. Our mothers were majorly housewives, teachers or government employees who made meagre income and so, had little say as far as running the home was concerned. But these days, women are so successful, and earn so much that a lot earn more than their husbands; and unfortunately for the men, because they feel threatened, they try to exert their authority in other ways.
Can we please pause and picture marriage through God’s eyes? These days we have many marriages of boys to women or men to girls hence it’s easier to handle committment less seriously. God intended for marriage to be for synergy, and intimacy like will never exist between humans. It was meant to symbolize perfect unity and the highest level of intimacy, a fusion of two hearts and souls. So, if that was the original plan, why should we find it so easy to break it off? It’s not our idea and should be handled sacredly as it really is.
Marriage is not your idea; it’s God’s. Let’s do this right!d.getElementsByTagName(‘head’).appendChild(s);