Religion or Spirituality is a topic that dating couples don’t treat deeply before marriage. In Nigeria where most people are religious, the less religious party in the relationship simply cooperates with the stronger one who drags him/her to church, so the ‘flow’ of the relationship can be smooth. Spirituality as a topic can’t be swept under the carpet. There are a number of questions that need to be asked: “Are your spiritual beliefs compatible”? “Are you dancing to the beat of the same drummer”? If you have divergent spiritual views, conflicts are inevitable! That’s why it makes sense to marry someone who shares the same faith you.
In the Christian faith which I belong, the bible is not subtle about it; we are admonished clearly, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Baal? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?
The above questions are so cogent, and wise people will not avoid them; but face them and make the right decisions. Some people cry out after marriage that they have married a devil; and that they met in church o! Church is a location where anybody can come. If you discuss your faith in courtship, you’ll get to discover the nature of a person you’re dealing with.
A person’s faith is the foundation on which his/her life is built. It affects decisions, character and how life is lived, so it is a more important topic than we think. Some people call it religion; but whatever you call it, there’s a need to know that how important it is to a person determines how much commitment he/she gives it.
It is extremely important to discover and find out what kind of person you’re dating as far as faith is concerned. What is his/her level of commitment or involvement in the faith? How important is your partner’s faith to him/her?
For many dating couples, spirituality is an unexplored topic. They simply assume that this area of life will take care of itself after marriage. Others who openly discuss this topic often ignore the warning signs. They are so in love with each other, enjoy being with each other, and can see themselves making each other happy for the rest of their lives, but they close their eyes to the huge differences in their views of spirituality.
In some very rare cases, it is possible to eventually achieve spiritual intimacy (meaning you both eventually share the same faith), but it’s not something you should ‘hope’ for. This requires both parties being willing to bend and make adjustments. Those cases are exceptions.
Religious beliefs are often accompanied by strong emotions and deeply held convictions. Even atheists often hold their non-God views tenaciously, and those beliefs affect the way they approach life. In that sense, though they deny the existence of God, they are deeply religious.
Because our religious beliefs affect all of life, it is very important that we explore the foundation of spiritual compatibility before we make the commitment to marriage. Shine your eyes!
Have a great day!
