1) That being in love is not an ADEQUATE FOUNDATION for building a SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE.
I used ‘we’ because am collating my experiences, as well as those of some other people.
In the past few years, I have counselled couples engaged to be married, and I usually ask them why they want to get married. Expectedly, they first look at me funny, and then go ahead to give me the ‘we love each other and believe we’re meant for each other’ answer.
Of course they love each other! They can’t take their eyes away from each other, can’t keep their hands to themselves, hormones are raging! They wanna make out everywhere! Is that not a desirable enough reason for marriage?
I decided against counselling a couple few weeks ago when I discovered the guy felt it was a waste of time. He said he didn’t think they’ll need counselling or that they’ll not have any problems in marriage cos they really loved each other.
I’ve been there, done that, bought the Tshirt 😉 When I was going out with hubby, there was no reason anyone could give me that we would not enjoy bliss in marriage. We were young, in love, and the future was simply beautiful. All the flaws in my Dad and Uncles, he didn’t have! Plus, he is a God Lover! Perfect Choice, Perfect Life! Few years down the line, I was reminded that I was as imperfect as the man I saw no flaw in!
Before marriage, there is a clear intention to make each other happy ‘forever’, but within as short as 6months after marriage, some couples are more miserable than they ever imagined. The euphoric feelings are gone, and replaced with hurt, anger, disappointment, which were never anticipated. They thought that the positive perceptions and feelings they had for each other would be with them for a lifetime. It’s not enough!
Because of space, let’s conclude this point tomorrow. I believe this will help someone become more balanced and matured emotionally.
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